sophisticated

exactly one month before I'm home (:

2011-05-17T13:06:00.005+02:00

Over time you’ve healed so much in me
And I am living proof
That although my darkest hour had come
Your light could still shine through
And though at times it’s just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
Well, I am grateful that you shine your light on me at all

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high
Who am I?

Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
And the more I sing that sweet old song the more I understand
That I do not comprehend this love that’s coming from your hand

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high
Who am I?

Grace, grace, God’s grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace, God’s grace
Grace that is greater than all our sin

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high
Who am I?

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
Amazing love, now flowing down
From hands and feet that were nailed to the tree
His grace flows down and covers me.

And covers me, and covers me, and covers me, and covers me
And covers me, and covers me, and covers me, and covers me

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high
Who am I?
Lord, who am I, yeah?

close to a month's time

2011-05-04T22:24:00.004+02:00

yes, it's just close to a month before i'm back home (:

time truly flies, and I can't help but thank God for His wonderful grace for me, all these while.

i know i haven't been updating this blog, as I wished i could. Well I have a backlog of expense records and photos to upload, waiting for me.

but right now, i just feel like coming here to say thank you Lord. came across this song, with really lovely lyrics.

Jesus will still be there

things change, plans fail

you look for love on a grander scale

storms rise, hopes fade

and you place your bets on another day

when the going gets tough

when the ride's too rough

when you're just not sure enough

Jesus will still be there

His love will never change

sure as the steady rain

Jesus will still be there

when no one else is true

He'll still be loving you

when it looks like you've lost it all

and you haven't got a prayer

Jesus will still be there

time flies, hearts turn

a little bit wiser from lessons learnt

but sometimes, weakness wins

and you lose your foothold once again

when the going gets tough

when the ride's too rough

when you're just not sure enough

yes, He's been here with me all along.

Rouen - a short yet heartwarming trip

2011-03-18T11:08:00.003+01:00

15-16 march 2011

If I'm to use one word to describe this trip, it's - heartwarming (:

As I type this I'm sitting on tgv back to reims (:

It was not a planned trip in fact I just thought of heading Rouen on sunday night. Why not? especially when there is no class on Tuesday and that lemin and mingrue will be ending their term soon in end march! well I really do want to visit them before they leave Europe.

On my way to rouen, I was really thankful for the opportunity to meet Arbi suksuk, Ahluan yiyi, Janice and their family in paris (: it was really an amazing feeling to meet them in paris! the fact that I only decided on Rouen the night before and the fact that they are in paris just on that day too (: they bought duck rice and char siew and to top it all bread from belgium which were altogether lovely!

During transit Zach and I stopped at Macs at st lazare and 'twas the most bizarre Macs we've seen with many mirrors and cellar alike on the interior; painted in gold and colorful crystals. shared duck rice and char siew and I almost teared eating duck rice cos it was so nice and I miss home food so much! it's funny how I used to take duck rice for granted yet now I treasure it so so much! 'twas zach's first time eating duck meat too, haha.

So we found our way to gare st lazare and took TER to Rouen. met Rouen natives on the train who had went skiing in the alps and it's cool how they taught us to pronounce Rouen the right way. 'twas one half hours of nap which followed after.0051: mingrue lemin and Roger came to fetch us at the Rouen gare and that was really sweet of them (: I still couldn't believe that I got to finally meet them (: and we took night rider bus - which had a crazy bus driver who sped like no other and 'twas funny when Ming said perhaps he just finished partying too and thus high before his night shift driver job, haha.

Caught up for a bit before tasting the night in Rouen (: Ming was really nice to let me squeeze on her bed! haha

We woke up ultra late and poor Aileen waited for us at the bus stop /: alas we still made our way to Rouen down town close to noon!Rouen downtown is really cosy quaint and beautiful (: especially the cottage alike houses! was telling Ming and lemin that Rouen seems to be Reims' twin cos these 2 places in France are so alike! but the houses architecture differs' with the wooden planks embroidered in cement walls.

Joan dArc was our first stop and it was a church of a scaled fish architecture! but voila the interior is amazing, feels like a protestant church though! and I can imagine papa preaching at the pulpit. guess I really miss hearing papa's sermon.

We headed on to buy Rouen's most famous Auzou macaroons (: bought caramel and vanilla and I prefer the vanilla (: bought another box of 14 to bring to Italy in 2 days' time for des, mel and jiaqi! Voila! the astronomical golden clock of Rouen! and Aileen and Zach figured out that the silver portion of the ball embedded at the centre determines the shape of the moon tonight and it indeed was that shape that night (:

As we're heading towards Hotel de Ville, the sun made its awesome appearance with its heat, warming my skin which has been much concealed beneath my coat for the past one half month (: Zach loved the sun too, and Ming said we're really lucky cos 'twas rare for Rouen to have such warm sunshine! We're so blessed! (:

We had the most chill coffee break at one of the cafes! loved their cafe creme served with a minute but sweet piece of chocolate from Belgium (: Zach was playing with the sugar cubes to see how coffee seeps into each sugar grain and he got 4 cubes in out of mere playfulness haha! we just sat there enjoying the hues of the sun and I almost forgot the wonder of sun's warmth till that moment - it vaguely rekindled memory of how hot sun at kallang be during my water trainings!

We headed on to a road by the stream beneath a stretch of cobbled street.it's amazingly cooling close to feet as you tread slowly along this street (:and entering this close to castle church is an amazing feeling, with the vast green field - white flowers seemingly floating and chestnuts scattered on the ground. caught an smu jump just right there with the girls! the beautiful church completes the close to perfect scene. notre dame alike but empty cos of the installation art exhibition held when we're there.We didn't enter hotel de ville in the end, just stood outside in awe of the building complete with a lonely France flag flying in rhythm to the light wind. napoleon statue was there too, and Ming commented how short Napoleon was! haha well I've no idea how tell he's supposed to be.

Rouen's Notre Dame Cathedral was lovely too, albeit the greyish black parts of the wall and this is the first cathedral I've seen with such a pointy tall structure. went inside and a man told me that one of the tomb houses ricardi who is the heart of lyon! and we caught the pipe organist playing the wedding march (: hearing the wedding march in such a place brings a feeling of hope and bliss!

The top view near the hostel was nice (: it overlooked the river siene, the cathedral and Rouen houses from afar (: sunset was amazing too!

Dinner was truly a feast (: I've never had such nice dinner for a month and a half already! curry cap chai, sausage egg and broccoli from kailee and Aileen, tom yum chicken soup from Roger, leek chicken from Ming and charsiew from me!! :D feels like im home again! and Aileen even made waffle nutella with apple slices and rum and raisin ice cream ((: yummy! was really touched! loads to talk about, and we played a pretty long monopoly deal game! zach's first time playing it!

Another night, and this time I crashed lemin's bed!

Bye bye Rouen (: tiny city, lingers much warmth in the heart.

j'aime paris

2011-02-09T13:57:00.008+01:00

second weekend in france

j'aime paris.

it is quite a magical place, with the eiffel tower which i have always dreamed of. and the real thing is much more majestic than what I have imagined it to be. went Paris last weekend with about 13 of my exchange mates. and it's really an awesome experience, cos everyone are pretty new to each other, there's no obligations and accountability but we took so good care of each other. the feeling is quite hard to describe, but i fully enjoyed their company, and will look forward to more of such short mini travels with my exchange mates.

the first place we visited was Sacre Coeur and it's a majestic cathedral with a really huge picture of Jesus right at the centre of the cathedral as you step into the interior. when you look down, it was a breathtaking scene of almost the entire Paris, and i love the sound of the church bells; I always wonder how the little clinks of bells always tug at my heartstrings. the lourve museum - the place where every artist must visit. it was so astounding to see the real size of all the paintings which I have learnt about in AEP in hwachong back 3 years ago. it's like as if they all come alive before your eyes - the tone of skin, the shades of paints and the love and passion the artists have devoted into every piece is amazing. we wallked past this artist who tried to imitate a painting on the wall. it's lovely too, but nowehere near the real thing. I guess replicas are but replica, just like how some people in your life can NEVER be replaced and always have a special place in the pocket of your heart (:

the eiffel tower - what can i say. it's taken me off my feet, the architecture, the grandness of it all. i couldn't help but delight each time i see the eiffel (: and smile like a silly idiot. there is also an ice-skating ring on the second level of eiffel! i wish that i can ice-skate... maybe i can master it! there's an ice-skating party coming up this thursday so perhaps I will learn and go back to eiffel to skate (: yes, and up we went to the very top via a lift/elevator - or so they call it. LOVELY. lovely scene and wind at the top of eiffel. anyone should go there at least once in their lifetime, really. and it's even better because of the humurous and simple company of all my exchange mates, laughing over silly matters and talking in various languages that even though you don't understand it all, you still have that smile lingering at the corner of your lips. dinner was kebab, but it wasn't as nice as the DURUM kebab back in Reims! had my first original kebab in paris and i love their fries (: very crispy on the outside and warm and a lil juicy at the inner bits! oh I AM SUCH A PIG.

we headed on to SHOWCASE club there after. the queue was mad, and at first i was wondering where the club could be cos' i dont see a single building. but viola, it's underground! haha though the music could really be better, it was quite an eye opener to see the parisians club. they weren't that wild, but they danced perfect to the rhythm of music in their different sways. cabbed back home cos it was close to 5am when we went back. woke up early in the morning to pray at the Sacre Couer cathedral, and it is a feeling of serenity and peace. we checked out and off we went to the TGV station.

the train ride home was nice, and it was a nice train we took - comfy and with exhilirating scenery captured outside the window as the train zoomed along the pastures on the railway track.

bye Paris, and I'm pretty sure i will be back really soon (:

in God's precious hands, and His little miracles for me - Reims, Champagne

2011-01-28T18:17:00.013+01:00

am officially one week in France.

finally had the chance to blog tonight, it's gonna be a long entry, but one with many little moments i would never want to forget (: details fade when not scribed, so i'll be here often now to tape the chords of exchange so that I have something to look back, and smile.

before i type anything, i just wanna say that:

ABOVE ALL, thank you Lord for bringing me to Reims;

for keeping me safe and secure, with nice companionship of the rest of the exchange students and some others from CIS, BDI and RMS.
(:

for allowing a smooth SMUSA AGM with not even a single question to our Council. that to me, says a lot about how much our council and exco have achieved. an unspoken acknowledgement, and how God has kept us all together as one even though we'd had our squabbles. and how the school has grown and will continue to grow as Ryan lead SMUSA (: a sweet ending, with bittersweet memories. I will definitely miss my exco, esp those who have fought so closely alongside me, thankyou. t'was my last speech too, and yes no matter what purpose you have in SMU, it's not what you have in life, but who you have alongside you that truly matters.

for changing the Reims orientation day from official 27th (email sent since october) to 28th (email sent in january!) when SMUSA agm has to be on the 26th. how often does official orientation day changes? (:

for all my lovely friends (feli, liwei, nicholas, sam, elendreus, alex, matt, gladys, caleb, des, carol, claudie, bekah!) and of course my dearest dad, mum and bro to send me off at the airport until the moment i stepped into the departure hall.

for the airport lady who allowed 34kg in when the limit's 30-32kg max. it's amazing, cos I wouldnt know how to remove things off my big luggage at the airport!

for giving me an SMU friend, Candera, on the plane to Paris, transit at Dubai, when all along I thought that I'm travelling alone. She told me she almost booked the flight next day but somehow she just booked a day earlier. How often does that happen? And we'd safe flights and nice company at transit though we'd no trolleys to lug our really rock heavy backpacks! Thanks to her watching after my things and getting me to the right gates and all.

for the shuttle to Reims that finally came!

i'd to wait for 3 hours at the Paris airport for the shuttle to Reims, and I called the Easy Navette shuttle in France frantically. The lady who picked up could only speak french and i panicked cos by then Candera had left to take train and I was alone. Luckily there's another guy on the phone who could speak english and he found my register for the shuttle. I'm glad I've a working singapore line, but after the first call, I realised I only had 3% left on my phone battery! I'd to quickly charge my phone using my laptop; and at that very moment, I'm thankful that I've placed my iPhone charger in my backpack though I'd almost packed it into the big luggage. I called papa cos I was so afraid there's no shuttle and papa told me to just wait in faith, and true enough, the shuttle did come, and it was a very nice driver who helped me carry my luggage all the way to the front of CIS hostel.

the scenery on the highway to Reims was so beautiful, the vast green land and the blue sky with coniferous trees and smoke from houses' chimney now and then. I fell asleep about twice or thrice, it was a private shuttle so there's no one except for me and the driver and I could lay flat on the second row. haha. I cannot explain the feeling when I finally saw REIMS sign and the shuttle swerved smoothly into the land that I've been dreaming and preparing so much for.

the houses, the cobbled streets, the gates, doors of houses; i felt like I was in the moving pages of a storybook, dreamland storybook. (: it's an amazing feeling to be - in Reims.

for CIS hostel. Pedro, then i just knew as the reception guy when I just arrived at my temporary hostel, helped me carry my 34kg luggage up 2 levels cos my room was on the second level and I was at the block with no lift. And the moment I entered my room, I feel so blessed because it's such a cozy pretty room, the kind that I've always imagined - small, yet full of warmth when the wind is blowing hard outside. that night I met a girl from China, Violette, who showed me where the kitchen and i boiled drinking water for the night before I sleep. Am so thankful that she's an exchange student to RMS too and we set it then to go to school at 8 together with everyone else. God provides, always and everyday.

for a wonderful orientation day at Reims.

it was a rush to get to school the next morning, and I was glad I met Susana from Mexico and we went down the cafetaria together, only to see everyone there ((: met Zach from US, and the rest of the chinese girls - there are 12 of them in total! was worried there'll be no asians earlier on!

we walked 25 minutes to school, and where everyone gathered and got to know each other. there's a countless number of administrative things we'd to settle, from money matter to identity validation, but the walks from one room to another gave time to knowing our fellow exchange mates. we'd a Pommery wine cellar tour which was lovely -i've always liked wine, and all about it. and I finally got to see, touch and feel a real cellar, and tasted my first champagne! (: Got to know Barbora from Checzh and Kevan from BDI alongside champagne toasts.

for a simple yet warm dinner with almost all exchange students at the pizza place! thankyou BDI for organizing (: had a 5.50 euro huge MAYA pizza, it's ham with honey and special fromage! lovely! and getting to know each other session yet again, haha.

for an amazing first weekend in Reims.

early morning Violette brought me to Inter Marche, a supermarket 10 mins away from CIS to buy grocery! I was overjoyed from the affordable price and wide variety of things! it's about the size of any ntuc just that it's one big vast floor selling almost everything. Mummy don't have to worry cos' there're plenty of meat, vegetables, cheese, everything you name it you can almost find it, no chilli and singapore cuisines of course! am thankful Violette showed me the way there (:

explored the heart of Reims city with Violette, Barbora and Martina and it's really such a joy! We'd little cafe break at MacDonalds haha and the cappuccino's lovely! (:

the kitchen was a comedy at night! everyone were gathered there, cooking together, enjoying each other's companionship as we're all away from home and adapting to Reims!

following nights, the kitchen was always alive, we'd red, white wines, rose, a special Chezch concoction with 60% alcohol made by Martina's parents and tequilla! but none of us got drunk, and we chattered till late! (: breakfasts been nice too, with baguette plus butter and strawberry jam, cereal and mil, yoghurt, cappuccino and cafe creme, bananas, and off to school we go by foot altogether on monday! met a french american guy chris who just came to france for soccer, and another aussie guy josh who have went bagpacking trip for 4 months and he's 11 more days to go before home. interesting exchanges of experiences (:

for the opportunity to worship at Notre Dame Reims Cathedral. I was truly happy to have Barbora to go with me the first sunday here in France. It was a catholic mass, with its full procedure. But knowing His overflowing grace for me during holy communion was a moment to cherish. I will be here every sunday if there's no other christian church in Reims. thank you Lord, for Your presence.

for a safe shift to ACOBHA Residence. tuesday morning was a mad, mad packing moment! Had a shuttle to drive us to ACOBHA, and at the end we could only leave our luggage at the lobby! came to shift into room finally after class and SURPRISE! Barka, the lady in charge, told me that I'm lucky to get a fully renovated room! It's brand new, and no one has lived in the renovated room before. The kitchen wares are still in their packagings, the toilet sparkling clean. It's amazing how God cares for me, so, so much!

for being able to finally unlock my luggage! yes i think i was too frantic while packing that morning when we'd to shift, and i accidentally changed the lock on my big luggage. it was horrfying, messaged bro and it was such an assurance from him that if I just try all the numbers from 0-999 the luggage will be fine! so the first thing I did in my new room was to meddle with the lock conscientiously from 0,1, ... and I finally got it at 7 hundred plus. almost cried though, cos I cant imagine what to do if it can't be opened, and was so careful cos was afraid I'ld miss a number or two. It's these little bizzare incidents that can truly strengthen me and force me to grow.

for french lessons with french professors and all the humours in class! (: yes, and one teacher made me go to the front while she spelled out the numbers in French and I'd to write the numerals. I almost died. Apparently my class is a beginner class (about 13 people) and the rest of the exchange students are in intermediate and advanced! but there are only like 5 REAL beginners and I'm one. so the teachers love to ask me to read and all that, so classes had been pretty pressurizing at the start! but am really getting used to the pace and tones of french language now. Though i still can't believe I'd to say the word J'aime 20 times to get it right in front of everyone! -.- But in all, french is really a beautiful language!

for chinese new year! celebrated by cooking chinese dishes with exchange friends from China! and we invited Barbora and Martina from Chezch too and it's nice when they like the chinese cuisines too! i really miss mummy's dishes and soups and daddy's charkuaytiao, steamed fish and seafood galore ):

for pina co lada concert which we'd the chance to go up and sing "freedom", haha, and for a lovely crepe party "le chandelier" (: so we rushed down to the party after CNY mini little celebration! Luckily we met the guys at the bus-stop lest we may get lost to the place! T'was at someone's apartment on 4th floor, and BDI made crepes and i tried cider, love it (: I love the crepe with strawberry and little icing sugar! oh and I made a deal to make springrolls ohmy, gotta practice and perfect it by next week hopefully!

and tonight, I feel truly blessed to have this time to finally quieten down a little and count the many blessings I've had thus far. nights are pretty chilly in my room, even though there's a heater.

but i still love WINTER a lot, cos it truly lets me understand how precious warmth is.

for all that've happened, and all that's to come, everything is in God's perfect plan; and I always wonder at all the miracles He'd in my life.

i feel more than blessed

i'm missing home so much right now - papa, mama and philo, especially when it's chinese new year and I've never spent this festive season away from home.

a new beginning, yet another exciting learning journey awaiting me - with faith.

ps: complete photos on fb (:

):

2011-01-15T19:52:00.000+01:00

ohmy, i really can't sleep. Am freaking out from the thought that i'll be flying off soon ALONE ): what should i do!

things to do

2011-01-15T17:56:00.002+01:00

since i can't sleep, i might as well use the time to note down what else i'ld need to do.

right?

cos' lying down in bed super aimlessly feeling scared of exchange is really useless.

SOPHIA'S TO DO LIST as of 16th jan:

1. buy cross necklace, my current one broke )):

2. change euros (on mon?)

3. apply citibank euro account (on mon?)

4. check posb and ocbc balance, and need to deposit enough money in there

5. check if need mummy's supplementary credit card from stan-chart

6. finish AGM speech (by tues)

7. finish annual report designs and layouts (by tues)

8. photocopy important documents

9. buy all the things i still need to (which is another long, long list)

10. farewell meals with friends

11. more family dinners at home, cos' i'm gonna miss mummy's cooked food so, so much

12. thread eyebrows (on 25th jan)

13. buy iphone (on 20th jan) and i need to learn how to use and download all the apps! SOS

14. print photos to be brought to exchange

15.

okay im sleepy now, au revoir

a short one, rather than none.

i want my voice back - and flying off in 12 days' time.

2011-01-15T17:22:00.006+01:00

my voice is slowly coming back (yes it is!)

after all the "gurgles" with weird-taste liquid and antibiotics. seriously, inflammation. from talking too much, haha. hard to believe. but all in all, i just want my voice back fully!

it's such a scary feeling to not be able to talk.

like i went to mr.bean and it was so hard to even order a warm soy bean drink. that's just one, of the many 'huhs' and weird looks from people when I try to speak, or whisper, or gesture what i needed to say. i was so scared i'ld lose my voice forever, i know it's kinda silly to think in such a way, but that fear's just immense whenever nothing comes out of your vocal chord, even if you tried clearing your throat umpteenth time. went for all the AGMs and bondue bash croaking and whispering funny noises. i wouldn't pass as a good mime.

mummy's pretty voiceless now too ): and she'd got to teach sunday school and lead dorcas fellowship tomorrow. really hope that she will have her voice back, and strength from Him to survive tomorrow. I've let mummy tried gurgling the med doc gave me, hopefully it will help!

went to Tiff's house last wed night to have a 11pm-6am non stop catchup session (part of the reason why i lost my voice) but it's all worth it. haven't seen my bestie for more that 1.5 years! and am truly glad she's been safe and sound in berkeley, and heartened to hear that she's coming back singapore after graduation ((: we may end up as future colleagues too! exciting (: will be sending her off tomorrow at the airport, bon voyage bestie, will wait for you to come back again (:

and, france in 12 days' time.

i can hardly believe it, and im fearing it more than anything else.

got my visa finally yesterday (after going to embassy thrice, and bank to get mummy's statement of accounts etc)! thank God, and thank you mummy and daddy who've been praying for me all along! mummy's gotten me most of the medicine i need for France (medicine's really of utmost importance cos no one's gonna save me when I'm sick there - scary)

many asked if i've packed. well everything's either strewn on my study table, or messily arranged in my huge luggage so far! feel kinda lazy to pack all of them neatly, but I know i better get them down on monday morning/ tonight! excel sheet of packing list is still incomplete, better get it done soon too. sigh, wish I'm not going alone now, then maybe I'ld have someone else to share the load too - i got to bring mini pots and pans so that I could at least cook for the first week or something! i hope. oh yes, i haven't bought all the premixes!

oh yes, gonna teach the kids with Des for the first time tomorrow! Jesus is light (: and we'll have the 'follow the sound, guess what you eat/drink' game and treasure hunt! complete with 'give me oil in my lamp' song! (: am really looking forward to it, hopefully the kids learn and treasure the lesson too, and that it stays with them for a long, long time to come!

gonna sleep, been really tired working on annual report designs, can't wait for it to be done (: jiayou Van and Em who are still burning tonight and tomorrow night and many more nights editing it, come on' it's the last lap. for the best aye girls!

night world, i've got to learn to stop waiting sometimes.

was hopeful, still am hopeful. maybe

got to learn to be truly independent when i'm alone

"alone? you're never alone"

cos' Jesus' watching over you, always and always

peaceful night

2011-01-11T18:34:00.003+01:00

no more fever finally! (:

thankyou Lord, cos if fever lasts i wouldn't have been able to finish annual report layout and statement...still have my report to redo cos of many overlaps by everyone else /: hope i can finish by tomr, am really tired of it already. Very tired and exhausted from it.

insomnia now, must be too many hours of sleeping so that fever goes away, and now i can no longer sleep /:

we're together again

2011-01-09T14:07:00.004+01:00

welcome home yinghan and carol (:

haven't seen both of them for a full 5 months, and glad that they are back with us safely!

finally preparing my final packing list right now on excel sheet!

20 more days and i'll be in france

2011-01-07T18:06:00.005+01:00

had a lovely jap lunch at itacho sushi, and a haircut finallly! (love the fact that it's short now, it's way lighter!)

walked the entire bugis street with mega and vero for their last day shopping in singapore before they fly back!

is it for real, or is it just an illusion?

family love back in indo, and for always.

2011-01-06T17:06:00.005+01:00

Day 1 back home - Thursday (Pontianak 16.12.10)

Once the plane touched down, I knew I’m home. Smiling, I could’t take my eyes off the padi fields outside, complete with the small worn down attap houses and scarecrows in all costumes.

The smell of the dusty air, the conversations all around me in Bahasa, the slow officers at the airport, all are part of the place I’ve spent my amazing childhood.

Met with 4th uncle’s family (Xian, Yangyi), Vero and dad’s bestfriend for a sumptuous lunch before taking the ride back to grandparent’s place. It will be a mystery if I don’t put on weight when I’m back home, with the amount of things I eat, along with bits of sambal chilli with every bite!

4 hours of journey back to Pemangkat was exhilarating. The whole time, I just looked out of the window, with coconut trees, padi fields, telephone wires stretched parallel to the road we’re on, many attap houses and colourful villager’s cement houses planted all around.

Now and then, I see GKKB churches at every village, and I will make a small little prayer for the villagers residing there (: The Lord’s grace is sufficient for me, for them, for the world.

Smiling grandpa and grandma welcomed us. Dinner, where dad cooked paku vegetables. And many sharings. Told grandpa that I’m going Europe, and his eyebrows spelled his tinge of worry for me, but the light smile was a reassuring one that I’ll be alright (:

And t’was the lingering family warmth that accompanied me to sleep that night, on the wooden bed and thin mattress, but comfy, with the rustic smell of village.

And a prayer, that this trip back home will be a blessed one.

Day 2 back home - Friday (Pemangkat 17.12.10)

Sitting at the backporch of my grandparents’ place now, is a feeling i can never describe.

I’ve grown up playing at this backporch everytime I’m back here in Pemangkat village. From cooking games when I was little, reading novels, till recording my thoughts on my macbook now, oh how time flies!

Many things have changed. All my aunts used to live here, but some have migrated to Jakarta. Breakfast was classic Pemangkat char kway tiao by 5th aunt (:

Grandma showed me the tapioca plants which she has planted especially just for us, and we’re gonna eat them tonight (: It takes 3 months for the tapioca to grow, and it dawns on me how long have i not been planting anything. Used to help daddy plant kangkong in Pontianak last time. But in Singapore? No way am I gonna plant anything I guess ): There isn’t even a speck of soil for me to start with.

Daddy drove us to eat bakso sapi for lunch, super yummy (: Ate the whole bowl, and they gave us 10 bakso each! GASP! And the chilli’s amazing!

We then visited 5th aunt’s shop, followed by 1st aunt’s bicycle shop where I’d my cup of authentic Pemangkat coffee. And lastly, 6th aunt’s place where we had coconut juice and her hand-made goreng pisang, fresh, hot and crispy from the wok! ((:

We head on to Sambas to find Ko Wery (RSU St Elizabeth Hospital) adn we’d a tour of Sambas! Pasar of Brunei, Malaysia and Indonesia where there’re this big snake and 2 chameleons for sale! Followed by Ko’s private clinic (4pm-9pm every weekday), afterwhich charkwaytiao at the pondok opposite Koko’s hospital!

Was really glad to see Koko after 6 years, really (: Daddy preached at Pemuda’s service at night on Amazing Grace, and it helped me ponder how unworthy I am to receive His amazing grace.

At night, we ate noodles again cos I was far too hungry, ohmy! haha.

Day 3 back home (Friday 18.12.10)

Went to 6th aunt’s house to see mama and kuku made “choypaupan” followed by “choypaupan” fiesta for lunch! Yummy (:

Then I really just slacked at kuku’s place and had a short catchup with cece Afun, whom I’ve not seen for 2 full years ever since my last trip to Jakarta in 2008! Lovely!

went to buy stationery for France too! 10 books which cost just $4 in total and 12 pens for Rp. 22,000 ($4)! cheap and simple, just enough for taking notes in France I hope!

Went for crabhunt (: and it’s amazing to see daddy and 6th kuku went into the crab pool to pick the crabs! Daddy was joing as tour guide the whole journey back and forth! We’d crab party at night! AWESOME :D

Daddy cooked crabs, tapioca leaves, and of course the most wonderful chilli with belachan and “kim khiuk fan” (special nice smelling leaves)

(: internet cae after that for one hour with bro, and off to sleep!

Day 4 back home (Sunday 19.12.10)

Went to church, and played song for dad and mum’s singspiration!

Lunch at tanjung batu with Djimin sukgong and sukpo - not a very healthy lunch though cos of all the fried stuffs, but nice nevertheless!

Spent the entire afternoon making christmas cards! Played with stamps, red and green. The more I draw, the more ideas I have and the happier I am...

Celebrated grandpa’s 86 birthday today! Loads of people in the house, chitter-chatter non-stop! but best of all, it’s catching up with Koko Wery and ce Afun (: Love my cousins to bits, really! The feeling of being together with them and all the little things we shared with each other are just so simply laughable, and lovely - family warmth, as always, amen (:

Day 5 back home (Monday 20.12.10)

Waited the whole morning for people to help us shift house! (and they only came at 4pm! oh my) Got the chance to drop by internet kiosk again, but it’s so steaming hot i felt like I was burning, plus the countless mosquito bites, haha.

Ate yam mian and our favourite rojak with extra apples from daddy (: whoah! seriously, spicy and crispy at the same time!

When the shifting finally happened, there were akin mini chaos here and there. 5th aunt’s house’s really huge and majestic. It costs $10,000 overall and 3 years to build (we’ll never get a house as big as this in Singapore with such a cost, really). Had a wonderful dinner with 5th aunt and uncle, Ce Rini and Ce Suny’s families and their lively kids!

Went out with Ce Rini at night to buy fruits and milk to make ‘chendol alike’ but with fruits and sago-like ingredients (: Ate Apam Kachang (yummy!) too.

Ce Suny sang for us the song which she has written for the choir in church, and it’s a beautiful song- entitled “the best present”, which is Christ our Lord. Her passion to write music, and her passion to serve the Lord, never failed to inspire us to continue staying strong in our walk and service to our Lord.

Had another round of bakso outside 5th aunt’s shop! Ce Suny said the bakso stall’s the best in Pemangkat and it’s as old as Ko Wery! Haha, it’s his favourite bakso too! Philo ate 2 big bowls, oh my, with loads and loads of kechup (black sauce)!

Had a peaceful night (shared the same room with bro), with a little prayer that grandpa and grandma may adapt fast enough into this new house, and stay joyful, everyday, every moment.

(:

i am so blessed. thankyou, Lord.

christmas love to all (:

2010-12-24T17:32:00.003+01:00

blessed christmas to all (:

HOPE is the message of Christmas

JOY is the spirit of Christmas

PEACE is the prayer of Christmas

LOVE is the meaning of Christmas

thank you Jon for the lovely quote.

had christmas caroling tonight, and i hope that the families received the love of christmas through the carols that we'd sang.

it's really christmas now, stayed up just to see the clock strikes twelve, tingling feeling of Jesus's love overwhelms me. for His grace, forgiveness and love to me.

writing christmas cards to church mates, close friends and cousins tonight (: designed the cards whilst back in indo, with the inspiration from simple kampong life, and the smiles of kids running around the village playing kites and catching fishes in the canals. the beauty of God's creations.

merry christmas world.

PS- will be blogging in detail about my indo trip later when the photos are up to accompany the journey (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY ((:

2010-12-06T16:29:00.013+01:00

especially for mummy,

who've always been taken care of us with much love ever since we step into this world:

mango paradise from epidor and pandan mousse from primadeli!

sisters (: ahyi and mummy!
my loving parents! daddy steamed the nicest ever fish for mummy today!

mummy and me (:
my dear bro and mummy!

'poof' gone one candle, hoho look at my bro's face! haha

daddy and mummy with the cake, naughty bro at the background as always!

happy birthday our dearest mummy

with loads and loads of love!

december's just the season for ME (:

2010-12-06T03:31:00.010+01:00

It's really, really december! sometimes i still cant believe that december has come, and when it's finally here, i wish everyday that it'll stay december forever!

got accommodation in France settled and paid for! Wheeeeeeeee! A load off my head, been worrying about it everyday for nothing /:

went shopping with mummy at winter sale and spent a huge bomb on all my winterwears! it's such a comfortable feeling shopping with mummy, something i've not done at all for the whole of 2010! ohmy. snow hats, gloves, thermal wears, wool sweaters, heat packs, ear muffs ... complete with a bus ride home and warm mutton soup dinner at interchange (: thank you mummy!

got my down feather jacket with feli at Tampines Mall (: and it's the most random thing ever, we barged in Wintertime as it's already closing, and made them serve us for a full 20 minutes; picking and trying out sweaters and all. Feli said my excitement made up for making the salesgirls stay back at the shop! Haha. But i love my creamwhite downfeather jacket! thanks feli for the random random company as always (:

Baking session at claudie's with beloved DG girls! Apple tartlets perfect for christmas!

Meet up with Qi fishball and Wenhui (: I love Rapunzel, it makes me feel like a princess myself, haha.

And of course, a somewhat familiar piggy out treat at sushi-tei and a christmas walkabout at harbourfront, thankyou (:

Oh yes, desireeeeeeeeeeeee (: welcome home again! it's so lovely to have my church bestie back!

It's DECEMBER, it really is! Back to my christmas cards!

PS - Dear Santa, you know what i want (:

winter wonderland

2010-12-01T04:18:00.000+01:00

welcome DECEMBER (:

2010-11-30T17:28:00.002+01:00

i love the macaroons - coffee, chocolate and cream (: with soba 'party', winter wear hunt and over- handburger updates from sihui for europe!

and of course, welcome home DESIREE WONG (: you've been dearly missed.

so, i'm gonna be broke buying winter wear and all the payments for exchange ): esprit or coldwear, well sihui said can always buy winter wear over in france, 20 euros for trench coat! but i guess i should better be prepared with some before landing there, yes?

the excitement is rising, but running in parallel, the apprehension. oh wells.

preparing for 2 more presentations for the faculty, meeting, list goes on. so can't exactly immerse myself in the christmas mood yet ):

but still, the christmas carols and jingles everywhere now are making me smile like an idiot (:

the christmas tree at United Square's lovely, with candy canes and big gingerbread mans, shall upload the picture another day!

last few days of november 2011

2010-11-29T15:56:00.004+01:00

End of school term for 2011 (: hoorays!

Dinner at home was lovely, especially when papa cooked the awesome fish again. jammed with bro with his electric guitar and my not-so-in-tune piano.then had mama dancing with guitar and funny headress, and that got papa laughing like mad! ((:

I miss having fun at home, should really have more of this before I really fly off to France. oh, and our mini christmas tree is up, on top of the piano, with its flickers of lights.

Met with new IITS CIO today, and am glad that the school's really taking care of students, be it both network or service, hopefully things will be better in the coming school term.

2 more presentations for me to go, one last exco meeting, exco retreat, AGM, and that will be it. this feeling seems so surreal, surreal that I'm actually stepping down. but am joyful, for all the battles will soon come to an end. got to hang in there - and truly, God's grace is sufficient for me.

Time for christmas carols now, Charlotte Church, all time favourite!

A ray of hope flickers in the sky
A tiny star lights up way up high
All across the land dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass when a child is born

A silent wish sails the seven seas
The winds of change whisper in the trees
And the walls of doubt crumble, tossed and torn
This comes to pass when a child is born

A rosy hue settles all around
You've got the feel you're on solid ground
For a spell or two no-one seems forlorn
This comes to pass when a child is born

This comes to pass when a child is born
It's all a dream, an illusion now
It must come true, sometime, soon, somehow
All across the land dawns a brand new morn

This comes to pass

when a child is born

its just ONE MORE MONTH to my favourite day of the year!

2010-11-25T08:54:00.002+01:00

im done with Ethics, CSR and discrimination. Didnt manage to finish the limitations of principles due to time constraint, but oh wells, at least for now i dont have to think of ethical questions for a bit. though this is contestable given the array of ethical problems we face everyday, but the rigour of Ethics totally drove me mad for the past 3 days. byebye!

now it's the jolly christmas. i love the starbucks cup design for christmas, especially the snowflakes (: they are lovely! am waiting for my vanilla latte small now, i love the mix of vanilla and latte, hopefully France has something even more amazing for my caffeine addiction (: even typing this line, i can imagine myself sitting at some floral cafe in some cozy corner of Reims, champagne. wait, i have not ordered my airflight! better do so soon too, ayee and my insurance.

Haha, it's amazing how i talk as if i dont i've anymore exams, but alas no. ONE MORE PAPER to go. Consumer behaviour, well it's really a course I enjoy (: understanding consumers' behaviour, what can be more fundamental to marketing than this!

Just gotten my creative comms results yesterday. B for class participation, how disappointing. And i really wish that creative comms will still be able to pull my lousy grades up ): but from the looks of it, i dont think so anymore ): BOOHOO.

Ohmy, i really have to apply visa insurance now, if not it will be too late. ohmy, I havent taken passport photos yet too! ): hopefully next monday morning is not too late to apply aye! if not I cant go johor for exco outing if passport is needed, hmm.

So long for now, when 27th november comes, this blog will be flooded with my christmas plan, christmas wishes, christmas everything.

christmas. christmas. christmas. and i'm counting down, just akin to every year.

"tis' the season to be jolly, tralalalala, lalalala"

ARGH

2010-11-24T06:15:00.002+01:00

save me i hate ethics! ):

2010-11-24T04:16:00.004+01:00

just one more day to prepare for ethics, rather scared though, 3 more topics before going heads on with the past papers and more examples to be found online to support arguments.

anyway Ms Barka from reims finally replied my mail. so my studio in france is pre-registered already, hopefully i can secure it. my mind keep wandering off to france amidst studying, haha. not good. and i kept tumblring. not good either. haha.

sometimes, i wonder what's the point of messaging if you won't reply.

oh wells.

"here in Your promises I stand,

You hold my future in Your hand"

ONE DOWN!

2010-11-22T10:06:00.003+01:00

One paper's down, 2 more papers to go.

I just gave away 8 marks for MR ): logistic regression, i dont think there's any correlation between me and regression, haha. as for other questions, i really don't know what's the outcome gonna be, but oh wells, already studied hard, and tried my best.

ethics now. crazy stack of notes to read, hopefully i can finish by thursday 830am (that's when the paper starts by the way, haha)

anyway ben and jerry's coming down to school this friday for free ice-cream giveaways! i guess i'll queue up for strawberry cheesecake! but i don't think i'm coming down to school even, well, will see how.

argh, still waiting for REIMS to confirm accommodation, really really want my studio. and my intercultural comms has yet been confirmed ): hurry hurry!

alright, back to my pile of "ethical" notes.

"so close I believe, You're holding me now

in Your hands, I belong,

You'll never let me go"

exams is drawing near and ending with a blink

2010-11-20T05:09:00.005+01:00

I know that I've abandoned this blog long enough, but oh wells, i need a place to rant before i start my studying again.

Marketing research, Consumer Behaviour and Ethics, just 3 papers and I'm done with school for 2010 ((: CANT WAIT for exams to end, in fact it will end in 7 days' time from now. wheeee!

Meanwhile, preparing for France exchange (:

I hope Reims do reply me quick so that I can be at ease knowing that I've a place to stay! really hope that i get the ACOBHA campus accommodation - it's a studio with a tiny kitchen, bathtub, fridge, free WIFI, and best of all, safe! Waiting for one more module to be confirmed by LKCSB, please do let the module be intercultural comms, if not am really not sure what I'm gonna do with the mandatory module that I've to take.

Okay am going back to my notes i guess. Guess I'm gonna be back here often, kinda miss blogging. Not that i have a lot of time, but it's always good to have a place like this. Not twitter, not facebook, but just a diary.

"This alabaster jar is all I have of worth
I break it at Your feet, Lord, it's less than You deserve
You're far more beautiful, more precious than the oil
The sum of my desires and the fullness of my joy
Like You spilled Your blood, I spill my heart
As an offering to my King
Here I am, take me as an offering
Here I am, giving every heartbeat for Your glory"
Take me

nostalgia

2010-08-16T13:25:00.002+02:00

after 2 years, I'm back here again.

CANOE& TEAM DINNER

2008-05-06T04:04:00.006+02:00

my SIM card has been inactive for 2 days, argh, i feel handicapped.

--
i'm finally well enough to be back at macritchie last saturday! (:

it was awesome paddling down the lane in my T1 again (though my arms already feel like dying before i even reach 500m mark!), it was nice talking over waters with dear yanhan and yimtong (though they were on stingray and had to pause countless times to wait for me! haha), and seeing the juniors training hard was truly comforting.

being happy simply because the waters and glide felt all too familiar.

team dinner at pepper lunch suntec before hopping over to swensens for our chocolatey dessert (yimtong's call! haha) pics from yihang's cam!

cookie summit
sticky chewy chocolate
and us! (lihuiiii, better join us the next time round alright!!)

interview chatters, application updates, classroom'joy and woes' for our ms lim, and i cant help laughing at yimtong's diving destiny with rimmel! i jussssst love my team!

im now indulging in the wave of relief after all the porfolio submission and interviews. it's a joy to know that friends have gotten into their desired courses and uni! but if you're still waiting for results, you have my company! (:

You've led me thus far, and now I'm leaving it all into Your sovereign hands;

2008-04-25T09:06:00.005+02:00

the rainbow is finally on my side and the dark clouds have all flown away; I feel blessed.

1804
tiffany stayed over! its amazing how best friends just know each other inside out, somehow place and time doesnt matter, really (: eastcoast and another stayover up next, im gonna miss my best friend when she flies off in May- very very much.

1904
miss clarity's with bf; a miraculous day when God truly answered my prayer.

2004
easties gathering at swensens! i miss the daily rides to school with taximates! and the mr bean's treats after training each time. now its shihong in navy, ryan fussing over his PT frisbee, rugby balls and news cuttings, dear yihang with her promising future! and the best thing is, we get to go home TOGETHER on the green mrt line (:

2104
a short (and sweet) dinner with qi and claire! yes, i owe you guys a longer one soon! i still cant believe running into the kitchen in the midst of rush, haha! p3 outing ya? (:

2404
fondeau at home with primary school besties. Our first attempt at the chocolate for the fondeau failed, cos it hardened so much we made them into 3 chocolate hearts instead, haha. A hilarious night, complete with extreme topics of conversations (:

and i cant wait to meet wongshihui in just a few hours' time! (:

the upcoming two weekends' gonna a be a tough ride, but knowing that God's just by my side is the best comfort ever (:

bye to the clamor

2008-03-28T03:47:00.004+01:00

The dust here is really piling up, yes?

Well, time flew by again, as always. And I’m glad the results release and all the uni and scholarship applications pandemonium are all over! Making decisions have left my brain in such a constant swirling whirlpool, plus the rocket of essays writing, so much that it was sheer relief clicking on the various “submit” buttons. I wonder if people are feeling the same way too.

Another bout of gastric flu has left me with 2 weeks of “no dinner outside” confinement from mum, so I am sorry for postponing all the meet-ups alright! Was upset that I couldn’t join the class for the ubin trip too, had wanted to cycle and go out into the wild tttthhhiiissss much!

Signing up for keyboard lessons with believermusic makes me determined to play proper music once more! I have never returned to piano ever since primary six? That's seven years ago! And this time i want to get the chords right (:

Oh, i love it when someone has vocal lessons, cos it means night supper. haha.

Hm, I’m contemplating on trying something crazy this weekend, and I can’t wait for end of march till early april! (:

Faith bridges chasm which reason cannot fathom;
Only when we’re anchored in the reality
That our dream is God-given and can only be accomplished by Him
We’ll give up our self-driven efforts – and our doubts

no way

2008-02-25T16:01:00.004+01:00

went back to hwachong in the evening to return an overdue library art book, accompanied by a sum which could be jolly well saved for other things if my memory or stubborness didnt fail me.

stepping into school ground again makes me sad. simply because its once yours, and now you dont belong to it, any longer. you just feel foreign amidst the familiar settings of that corner of canteen, class bench, the track, the space outside library, even walking past the reading room feels weird.

saw the juniors training, the monday runs round the track, and its another surge of emotions i cant fully explain.

some things, are not meant to be hold on to, i guess. reliving what's behind is never possible. but such departure, only time can heal. and perhaps erase, without us knowing even.

--

sometimes the heart, be it yours or someone else's, is so beyond comprehension it leaves you feeling frustrated. maybe that's what heart is meant to be, as complicated as it can be. yes?

jo's birthday

2008-02-23T02:16:00.016+01:00

this post's dedicated to pri sch besties!
sorry for the two weeks late update babes, but then again, ive been late since pri school. haha.

happy 19th birthday dearest jo!

the girl (:

we went ice-skating for the day, thanks to birthday girl who has an obsession with fullhouse. though we fell like clowns at times, going round and round the rink was bliss. followed by, lurkings at airport terminal 3, our lerk thai dinner and karen's roars to accompany us, yes? (:

its been 8 years since amethyst, but old school besties just have their way of filling up the hours with nothing else but joy.

remember M,
remember E
put them together,
and remember ME.

we used to write thousands of those poems on autograph books during those days. but i'm glad we didnt forget this particular one. haha.

take care <3

tension of opposites

2008-02-16T16:50:00.003+01:00

"Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" he says.

The tension of opposites?

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldnt. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted"

"A tension of opposites, like a pull on the rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle"

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match" He laughs.
"Yes, you could describe life that way"

So which side wins, I ask.

"Which side wins?"
He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins. Love always wins"

-Mitch Albom

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! though a little belated.

It's indeed weird not to have flowers, chocolates, sweets, little notes and all shades of pink strewn within a diameter of your eyes, unlike past years of valentine's days in schools had been.

Maybe it's been destined that my vday's not to fall on february the fourteenth too, not that he's confined in army, but i was confined sadly, at home. still wondering of why the likes for friday or saturday night, haha well, your command, and I know somehow that the wait's going to be worthwhile (:

I am so relieved Im well enough again to face the computer screen and not have that shivers of cold wrapping around me. Monthly fevers really get on my nerves, big time. So much that i detest the sight of the ever familiar pink paracetamol pills, pink cough syrup and whatever antibiotics i had to swallow to drive the discomfort away.

Sorry mel, i cant make it on water again today cos of the stupid fever ): but I am determined to be back at macritchie, at least 1st march.the juniors' picture at xinyi's blog seems to tell me that i just have to paddle and feel the waters once more, and that canoe's been left out of me a little far too long.

Anyway, talking to tiffany on the line tonight just made my day (:
thank you best friend.

chinese new year

2008-02-16T13:05:00.008+01:00

chinese new year this year, despite the long weekend it came with, seemed to pass way too quickly. so much fun in that short span of few days made the retreat to normal rountined life a little difficult. isn't it?

reunion potluck at grandma's place, classic (:
my girl cousins, seeing bernice's face makes me want to laugh out loud again
guy cousins and bro
the warmest complete family picture i can ever ask of (mummy's side)
and mine <3

the two men i grew up with (:and my brother, who's officially taller than me this year

pineapple tarts and multiple rounds of 'bridge' this year, hopping to each other's houses and loads of catching up. true enough, everyone has grown a little; taller, older, sweeter, or wiser perhaps.

but nothing beats the feeling of having the entire big family surrounding you once again.

a little update

2008-02-04T15:46:00.001+01:00

i cant believe we were still munching on ben and jerry's ice cream before you went into the ferry! (: two and a half days before you're out again!

met up with karen and jo yest night at bedok foodcourt. soupy business oh and we could actually talk despite towering noise out there (: pro-ness. jo bought this "good girl gone bad-las vegas" magnet for me, haha. well, long overdue christmas gifts exchange and we finally planned something proper for next sunday!1 pm sharp, can't wait (:

for once i am not having monday blues! and its clinic day in the hospital tomorrow, which means lots of running about with exciting stuffs happening.

goodnight world!

sometimes, things just feel a little strange.
and i dont know why.

happy

2008-02-01T17:23:00.000+01:00

hospital attachment at NUH today was really cool. it wasnt anywhere close to boring which some people had described their hospital attachments to be.

and guess what, my attachment partner is carolyn! i was so delighted to have someone from hwachong too and really looked forward to working together for the next one month! (:

thank you nicole and especially junhow for making my first day at work so memorable, saving me out of wits end at times! i actually wheeled this patient who had to have her cast removed to the wrong ward today and junhow almost fainted. i'ld rant more about the attachment next time i guess. but for one thing, i would get to go into the operation theatre and stand next to the surgeon while he operates every wednesday! ahh i cant wait (:

went out with des for threading which was damn painful and pepper lunch for dinner! and she's so happy to receive a cartonful of oranges today (:

and im seeing you in twelve hours' time.
im a HAPPY girl today!
(:

being small

2008-02-01T16:46:00.000+01:00

31st january 2008 23:00 PM
(did not manage to publish this last night)

here's an entry, one with a pathetic preface and few discordant chapters.guess i'll just let the wordiness unfurl.

--

six days of traumatising bout of influenza. it just came with its peak 39.1 degree fever, hits of dizziness, rounds of vomitting, blood test due to dengue suspicions, and the worst was the erratic shower of shivers which were heaty on the outside but icy on the inside when the medicine worn off time and again.

and now i feel so blessed to declare that im finally well and healthy again! i've been foolish to have taken my health for granted, only to treasure it so badly only after such a war. im proud to have won this time, not alone, but with dearest mum who stuck with me through it all, dad who became ultra naggy, bro, and of course, the greatest doctor none other than God alone (: and to all those who have stood by me and prayed for me, thank you!

sorry claire and huiqi for missing that date of ours :/ will meet up real soon!

--

oh, nicholas surprised me last saturday (his very first official bookout) by ringing the doorbell and popping by in his army uniform! though i was so frail and weak with high fever for a moment i thought i was all well again just seeing him standing there. anyhow, i wont be able to forgive myself for falling ill at such a wrong timing, to miss that dinner and for not being able to spend time together the entire weekend despite being on the same island now, all because of a heartless influenza virus.

and just when I thought all I had was just that few hours with him before I could only see him again next saturday, I was totally wrong. He popped by again on tuesday afternoon before going for his physiotherapy. Or so, my lucky star was twinkling despite the rain pouring outside then.

--

well, finally went back to work on wednesday.and guess what i dropped my antibiotics while rushing for the shuttle bus! but it was such a blessing in disguise. you wonder why and i, too, marvel at the events that followed.

went back to doc's clinic at night to buy another set of antibiotics. on his way to the toilet, doc could actually recognise me as the girl whom he lent some medical books during my last visit (fever during christmas last yr)! he offered more opportunities, gave advice and even lent me one more book (: its amazing how God had answered my prayers and used events like my fevers or losing my antibiotics as keys in opening various doors for me.

its just, simply miraculous, maybe absurd. but it has definitely shot a jab of joy into me.

--

and my hospital attachment is supposed to start tomorrow instead of 4th february! my, it was such a short notice i had to rush and complete a heap of work for my aunt before i leave. val's working for my aunt now, and sorry for loading you with so much information in two hours yeah? glad to have met up with her after so long. guess we were so noisy in the shuttle bus that everyone around sleeping would hate us! and val apparently didnt realise that the traffic light man had turned green, blur queen (: thank you and jiayou with my aunt alright!

i am trying to imagine how things at NUH orthopaedics will be like tomorrow.i'd been awaiting it for so long, and it has finally arrived.

and thank you melody for such a precious opportunity (:

yt's birthday

2008-01-24T08:10:00.001+01:00

i woke up feverish this morning. been freezing in the office until some panadols came to little rescue. everything is icy to touch. and i cant believe that im sick NOW, of all times.

although its just barely two more days, i cant bring myself to finish waiting cos im just so feverish.

:/

--

22nd january 2008

happy birthday dearest captain!
here's our beloved birthday girl, with her cool posture as always, bits of dashing similarity to the big red elmo, don't you agree?

surely, our lives have been changed almost entirely with the influx of work and many other matters as we hate to but yet continue to grow older with each passing moment. but the warmth, just to be back together again, even when its just for that few hours, is always so comforting.

yanhan and her rants on adorable primary 4 students, mel and her donut frenzy and her never-ending enthusiasm for baking, yihang and her job-hops, lihui and her lucky day to get a new and better job, yimtong and her headache over what to do...

well, despite it all, we're still the same girls who once raced down the lanes in our canoes, bugged subways every saturday, chilled at pullup bars every mornings and trained like never before (:

team, for always.
being together, is a simple addiction that brings a surge of ecstasy with every dose.

ps: photos courtesy of mel and yihang <3

monday blues

2008-01-21T13:58:00.000+01:00

hello world.

of all the shades of blue that can possibly exist and that you can possibly imagine,
ultra-marine, navy, pastel, baby, sapphire, royal, iris, denim, cerulean, columbia, persian, cobalt, azure...

monday blue is the ugliest and most cruel of them all, isn't it? weekend flies past, weekdays crawl by, never felt such intensity, but sadly it's here to stay till goodness knows when.

Anyway, here's a small figment of weekend.

Saturday;
Cycled with church mates along east coast. I think I must have forgotten how lovely the beach can be after being stuck in the office for all these while, because the waters and stretch of sand seemed exceptionally beautiful. It was only then I realized how much I missed being under the sun too, for the warmth is still as familiar despite the gap of time.

Such an outing bring back fond memories, a tingling sensation i should say.

Sunday;
Church as usual, and I'm finally back to choir after months of absence. But after losing touch with alto part for so long, i find myself lost here and there.oh well, haha.

Me and desiree finally got a chance to shop too, after years of not shopping together. The billabong bags we bought the last time can be considered ancient relics already (:

We stopped for some caps. But apparently we'd not a single clue what our army boys' head sizes were, so choosing became an arduously difficult task. We laughed at how they would curse us if we buy the ones with green army patterns on them! And we ended up trying oversized caps on ourselves.

And so the weekend bid goodbye.

Oh, someone actually called at 830pm last night instead of the usual after 10pm. And it puts this huge grin on my face, as if Mr. Santa suddenly jumped down my chimney and gave me a gift though Christmas is nowhere near (:

--

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that i heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds
are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Such an innocent, simple yet meaningful song isnt it? The tune cant seem to get off my mind (:

--

to do list:
1. Finish cross stitch
2. Read up on red wine or even ice wine.
Go to places that sell red wine and scrutinize the bottles.
Decide which brand of which year to buy by end of May.
3. Finish reading the books that the doctor gave
4. Learn knitting (pencil case, bible case, scarf? )
5. Coach brother and cousin weekly
6. Watch the stack of dvds (courtesy of feli and jo)
7. Be a volunteer at hospital's children corner, once every 2 weeks perhaps
8. Run
9. Get a new swimsuit (lost the old one) and go swim
10.Pop by macritchie and canoe
11. Learn to cook from mum and help with housework

THAT should be enough to keep me really busy. This may sound silly, but not doing anything else except for the daily routine work is highly suffocating for me. I hate boredom very, very much.

Though i've always thought that publishing to-do list on the blog is rather stupid, but now i know how it feels after typing them all out. Haha, a little motivation floats somewhere.

Can't wait for team dinner tomorrow (:

rant

2008-01-18T16:53:00.000+01:00

thought i would abandon this place once and for all since i havent been blogging.
but i truly need some space to rant today, thereby falling back into this rather
cosy corner once more.

today's been a really bad day, but an amusingly bad one i must say.

its a ride of looking forward to something so badly, and then being denied of that something so quickly. its like a pretty helium balloon that pops all of a sudden. yet, the strongheaded me still didnt want to let it go although impossibilities was so boldly displayed and thoroughly rationalised to me. though my mind had given up, my heart was still clinging on to it. so i made the wildest decision which only promised just a trickle of chance. but faith played a trick on me and it was a second disappointment of the day. i couldnt believe that i could actually pour it out all at one go. it was total embarrassment. irrationality was at its peak and i gained my mind back only upon reaching home.a little too late maybe, cos what's done been done.

i thought hard upon the whirlpool that i've let myself sank in today. and im relieved to find an answer attached to all that nonsense. it was actually a pretty simple and comforting reason.

but i really do hope such things dont occur again. faith please dont play anymore tricks. but that's just a wishful thinking on my part i guess, for such tricks are inevitable in the game of love.

sorry for the abstraction, cos i'm pretty certain no one would be able to make any head or tail out of it. but a rant is never meant to be understood isnt it? and anyone out there dont have to understand anyway.

staying strong is tough, but not impossible isnt it (: you're so dearly missed.

yay, its weekend!

dec update

2007-12-19T06:23:00.000+01:00

am in office now. my work for this year is ending in 5 hours' time (: no more one hour shuttle bus journey to and fro home, dealing with chemicals and preparing flavours for evaluation after evaluation, cracking my brain and going blind over excel files. sheer relief! its just eight days and im near fatigue over such a mundane job.

work is just so routined it makes you emotionless towards it after a while.

seeing people getting on shuttle bus every morning, sleeping or reading newpapers after which, arrival at the office calls for the usual sitting in front of the computers, those in the labs start mixing their chemicals and the sound of lab equipments drone on. people start streaming out for lunch when the clock strikes twelve with relieved looks, some come back recharged, but most return expressionless. and the day ends with people rushing for the 5.45 sharp shuttle bus home while some simply cant leave, as yet, due to conference calls or work overload. and the cycle repeats itself mercilessly.
working life like that? shudders.

throwing work aside,

the three souls finally met up yesterday! pigged out at newyork2 and played with green apple candy floss, with wenhui going crazy with the sugars and peifen whining about her sticky fingers. and we pampered ourselves with the irresistable gelare waffles - maple syrup trickling down rum&raisin and chocolate obsession, sinful. and down to esplanade for some grown-up talks (: the time spent was as diabetic as the candy floss we ate <3

visited jo with karen last sunday. poor girl got hospitalised with gastritis! but am glas she's feeling better already! but it was, as always, a lovely catch up with pri sch mates! and we tried jo's first ever berry cheesecake (:

and this is the long overdue meetup photo with teammates on 3rd dec (: the seven of us, plus dearest coach. quoting yanhan "spot the thorn among the roses" lol.

in just a matter of hours, i'll be back to my usual december self! (: crazy shoppings for christmas clothes and presents, designing cards, penning down messages, making trips to mailbox, drowning myself in christmas songs, preparing for church events and the list rattles on.

but there's something on the list this year that has a stamp EMERGENCY in bold red next to it. and i truly hope im not too late.
although there are only 5 stars left in the sky, im sure they will shine, like they have never shone before.

beginning

2007-12-09T15:59:00.000+01:00

will be working tomorrow at some faraway place. as always, the anxiety of doing something for the very first time lingers. so justtt hope everything will turn out fine.

anyway, am relieved things are falling back into place again in church. the drift during A's been exasperating for me. its the sense of spiritual weakness which i cant describe in mere words. but today, when the laughters of little kids engulf me during lunch, when the christmas carols filled the cosy room during practice, somehow deep inside, i know im home, back into His very embrace.

oh, decorating christmas tree was such joy, bringing back some nostalgia, of how i used to climb on daddy's shoulders to place the star at the very top of the tree (: 15 days awaiting.

its sweet the way silver snowflakes sparkle amidst black opaque, soon to be (:

promenade

2007-12-07T18:48:00.000+01:00

am finally back!

the dreary A's has finally released its clutch, and the gasp of freedom, though temporary as it maybe, entails (:

PROMENADE at ShangriLa.
a night studded with glamour, of capturing the people that crossed our lives, of looking back at the moments we truly dear. its difficult to put it into words how much i will miss jc life. a mere blank canvas at the start, now a painting at its finishing touch. a beautiful one.

beloved class 06S75!

nicholas yong, thank you for the lovely sunflowers!

yueqi! the bestest bones i could ever ask for! LOVE

claireee! and her bouquet of roses (:

siyuun! and her really cute hairdo (:

shue!yiwei! the madrush to prom, haha.

sister sam! as sweet as always!

sister val! amazing keyboardist of the night (:

eunicee! the tallest girl ever (:

yeenseen! art soulmate!

kityeng, yuting and yueqi!

pretty in black and white-

reihorng! the once coffeeshop uncle (:

and class guys with yushu!

ART classmates! tianyu, mingjie, andy, yeenseen, yingshi, pow, shumin, karweng, monster zhengyou!

captain yimtong! and her really cool look (:

chiamingg!

shihong! ryan! thanks for the company every single morning (:

everyone wore their best smile that last night, the very smile which encompasses the joy the journey has given each one of us, in its vastly different and unique way.
when pieced together, just like a filmstrip without sound
it truly is
a belle memoire

thank you for the fairytale ending <3

2007-07-10T15:27:00.000+02:00

got pass my heats today (: after floating for 40mins at the starting line thanks to the starter who came late in their lousy speedboat. anyway, was really relieved after crossing the ending point. the side wind from the right was terrible and past the 500m mark i was so afraid i crossed lanes and got myself disqualified cos the big fat pink buoy was right in front of me! but luckily it was just a mere scare. must put in extra care for direction tomorrow.

and im really proud of my awesome teammates who got into direct finals today,
yanhan and chiaming in their K2 1000m
mel and yihang in their K2 500m
sylvia in her T1 500m
and our dearest k4 xinyi, lihui, yimtong and xinhui.

little sophia, jac and jiaen, anyi, keep the fighting spirit there alright. its just the beginning for you guys (:

and am so comforted seniors and grandseniors came down to support us! especially the T1 seniors, it felt so warm and heartening to share all that happened with you guys, everything about T1. its such a motivation to have people who truly understand.

am the only boat down for semis tomorrow, will give in my all (:

anyway, heard this song everything in its time by corrinne may in jiaen's ipod today. found it really nice and inspirational.

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

indeed, its at these moments of anticipation and whirls of faith that i find myself drawing nearer and running into His embrace, for He holds tomorrow, and He holds our hands.
faith. faith. faith.

2007-07-08T17:46:00.000+02:00

i am supposed to be in bed now, but oh well, just another fifteen minutes to pen down the thoughts swirling in my minute brain capacity. i need some space of liberation.

i cant believe that my race is in exactly thirty-three hours away. that there is no more water training, that the next time im touching my paddle and boat it'll be the moment down the lane. that the BIG DAY is so, so near. its just so unbelievable how time has flown without a trace. much anxiety and excitement, blended into a flavour never tasted before.

all of a sudden i find myself missing macritchie, missing haoxia, missing the old days, missing trainings and missing ... i know everything's not over yet and no one in the right mind will be feeling this way before nationals, it's suppose to be after nationals. but just the mere thought that everything will soon come to an end struck the emo chord in me.

its just that few hours left ticking away, so hang in there everyone (: after all that we've put in, after all the smiles and laughters amid the tears and struggles, the last fight down the lane will be our best alright, for simply the love for the team, for the love of the sport. we're all in this together. love-

let's just paddle our hearts out; strong girls

hide me now
under Your wings
cover me
within Your mighty hands

unrest my soul
in Christ alone
know His Power
in quietness and trust

when the oceans run
and thunders roar
I'll soar with you
above the storms

Father Your are King
over the floods
I'll be still and know
You are God

in moments like this, i need You Lord.

dear one, im really proud of you
you gave in your all and it's my turn in just a while.
thanks for being there for me.

i love my darlings!

2007-07-02T17:00:00.000+02:00

friends
are truly God's precious gifts to us in this small, inconsequential earth we're ensnared in to fill our empty souls with cracks of laughters, fountain of care, drops of anger and frustration at times which can be erased with that tinge of forgiveness, and most importantly, many bits of love.

it's always that warm, fuzzy feeling when close ~~and old~~ friends get together. some things never change. and i want it to stay that way (:

sorry babes for this ultra late entry, pleasssee dont slaughter me haha, here they are, as promised.
-sheepish grin.

31st may
met up with karen and jo-ann, dearest primary school mates!

thanks for making me hunt for the wardrobe-full volcano of balloons in shades of orange and yellow. and the slice of chocolatey bakerzia in the dark was awesome. barcadi in all three flavours and listening to our favourite silly ateens and sclub7! the best make-up 'pub' huh, goodness (: and no more bluffing me and making me go to jo's house myself from the mrt station cos you guys are supposedly "lazy" or was it jo having a "terrible stomachache"? haha, karen the best-est liar, as always (: im amazed at my superb memory and wonderful sense of direction that i got there safe and sound. and we really look horrendous in our primary school days-shivers. that kind of hairstyle, that kind of manner of wearing uniform and more...

but the loveliest smiles captured- till now?absolutely.

cheeky tongues
bonafide (hm i do look vj-ish in that vjc shirt huh, haha)

14th june
wenhui and peifen! so glad we didnt forget each other's existence yeah? (:

well, went to pig out at this hongkong restaurant at vivo, thanks to our starving princess who's far too lazy to choose other eateries and dear wenhui insisted on this french toast, much to our fervent objections, but it turned out to be incredibly nice. oh what wonderful ways of eating spaghetties too! (: curry and potatoes mixup? and we look like total idiots walking in and out of precious moments before buying wenhui this RUS huggable teddy bear - birthday gift we owed her for months! chatting amid the lingering alcoholic sweet taste of hooch, tracing each other's lives and chancing upon the hardcore fact that we're all growing up!

cant' wait for our next stayover! and dear wenhui we havent eat our IKEA meatballs yet! im saving my first time for you okay, haha.

cheers;

take care meanwhile (:
keep in touch <3

2007-06-13T16:14:00.000+02:00

I LOVE my teammates to bits (and all the pieces).

The very fact that I see them five days a week in the hols, that only they can truly understand the ~~struggle~~ of tough training amid the impossible studying for the upcoming block test, trying our best to balance the dips and accelerations on a surreal see-saw together, sharing what it means to paddle till your heart drops and what it takes,

What would I do without teammates? (:

Am so comforted that you guys stayed up at the pull-up bar today just to see my first not so standard pull up and made me hang in there. Not being to do even one has made me so ashamed all this while, and so i decided it's time to let this derision dissipate and vanish. Well, I promise my first proper pull-up soon, no matter how much I hated it in the past.

Proudly presenting to you my definition of teammates concealed in all these pictures.
Support, determination, ample joy and simply love.

JTS/birthday celeb 31st may

team shot!

the seniors, with lihui's hazardous pose.yihang you're missed!
spastic attempt at blowing an imaginary candle, silly mel, look at her sadistic smile.

thanks for such an extraordinary company (:

First time to Sizzlers', the lunch buffet was awesome there! Personalised sundaes, free flow salads and more. Yummy, felt really pampered. Thanks for the treat juniors!

And guess what i've got an excessively-detailed map of Singapore for a birthday gift, "so that you wont get lost again". Yeah right (: It's rather amusing how everyone crammed around the map intently trying to find our dearest bedok and macritchie reservoirs. The photo collage on the verso and pretty strawberry cake carved in a heart were heartening, plus my very first gorgeous bouquet of orange rose from fiona and kaiwen.

Went down to play daytona at suntec arcade with yt, xinyi, sylvia and mel. Died laughing, racing and screaming simultaneously.

Training at Bedok 30th may

Goodness knows how but i alighted at the wrong end of the reservoir, how spastic, even more so when i realised that the meeting point is just a whole straight street away from my house. Rahh.

Anyway, the gushes of wind, not to mention the water currents, were crazy. Adding to boiling frustration, the lanes had so minimal number of buoys with inconsistent distances to accomplish their deceptive roles. It's simply not the place for competition, but yet it just has to be /:

It pains me to realise that its the only time we're there with coach. So, that snapshot with him's to be treasured. To have a team-'woosh' as the warm crimson sun sets was comforting.

Last Gym Session 21st may

STRONG GIRLS (: i dont care what others have got to say about our muscles. Just imagine canoeing without them, we'll be snails on water. I miss all the brenchpress, lats pulldown, one arm snatch (as intelligently labelled as OAS by the juniors), 'chicken wings'...and the once-agonising track programme.

Coach Farewell 20th may

Four generations of girls met up on that day. That explains the masquerade on the stairway with our beloved coach. You're so terribly missed /:

NWKC 13th may

with xinyi;
gold, silver and bronze (:

NWKC ended on a cheery note, with the trickling of sweat from giving in our very best fights on water and radiant smiles from having persevered as a team. Trainings on the big, fat T1 did pay off! and yes mel, sorry for the silly tears and whining at the start of this year. And its rather cool how me and xinyi ended up paddling 500m T1 finals side by side. Twins for a reason? Perhaps (:

We've all come such a long way, and its just frighteningly four weeks left. Let's not render disillusionment (as coach puts it) any chance of seeping in. Hang in there alright, stay as strong as ever!

We're all in this together, COME ON (:

birthday

2007-05-29T19:28:00.000+02:00

i miss this old place all of a sudden, after abandoning it for almost a month /: oh wells.

am here waiting for the hour hand of my alarm clock to crawl its way to twelve. the end of my eighteenth year and beginning of the nineteenth. it never fail to amaze me how years pass by so mercilessly fast.

as i embrace the very fact that ive grown yet another year older, tonight has become a time of reflection, of recalling how meaningfully or aimlessly the days had been led, of questioning self identity, of learning from the painful cracks, of unravelling emotions, be it concealed deep in or exposed blatantly, and of remembering people closest to heart.

the best birthday gift i've received is knowing that im born into this world,
to be LOVED and to LOVE
- be it God, family or friends (: and knowing that there's a purpose in life waiting to be revealed with each passing moment.

to you;
thanks for the lovely surprise.
sinful chocolate fondeau, starburst and sausage bites, a dinner in the air, watching the sky transits into pitch darkness with studded glimmers, bittersweet irish martini and your *in the beach (lol), a walk into the very heart of nature, unexpected warmth (2206/2252), unglamness in the middle of the road and the luckiest taxi ride ever.

escapade- as you name it (: im glad that the last few hours of eighteenth are spent with you. and to have the first minute of nineteenth to be greeted by the ever familiar voice resounding the loveliest birthday song.i love you

another five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes so dear.
it felt as if the stars are twinkling just for me tonight.
happy birthday (:

-

2007-04-08T14:09:00.000+02:00

i have pressed the "backspace" key countless times before this line.well,there're just too much things on war in my mind, and it's mentally draining.

training's stepping up and all, but the thought that it wont ever be the same without coach in just seven week's time hurts.anyway, im really thankful that coach's willing to train with me one on one on sunday mornings! will just treasure trainings even more from now on and fight harder on water with teammates! hang in there, everyone (:

sports day's on its way again.haha.relays with classmates'll be exciting (: or even hilarious.but im so not looking forward to the long distance races now that the dates draw close.bit of regret for joining creeps in.

popcorn talks, taxi ride, running on the track despite being last, the random company and the many similarities shared.its really nice to have someone who cares (: thanks.

sorry for the randomness in this entry, where paragraphs dont link and i dont bother.
for now, any thoughts that can upset me are shoved to the back and inconsequential part of my mind.
and tonight, i cant help but feeling afraid of losing you.

"thank you Lord Jesus,
for Your amazing grace,
and for being the reason to live."

2007-04-01T15:28:00.000+02:00

guess im the last soul to declare that block test's finally OVER.and sadly it's accompanied by the fact that i screwed it up.cant help feeling lousy,though the whole world just says "its just blocks 1".which is not wrong in any sense too.so much for last minute studying and cramming.guess its lost its magic.so time to be consistent.hope its not too late.

results for block test one set me pondering how i can actually balance everything.with time being zapped up by tough canoe training four times a week, art coursework, long journey back home from sch, church ministry and schoolwork, i seriously feel like a mad woman.i cant let go of any.and i hate the word prioritise cos i dont seem to understand how the word "prioritise" can actually work for me.virtually impossible.so what.choices made, just bear with it i suppose.

anyway, the fact that im not alone, that there are many out there struggling too, gives a little sense of comfort.

NJCC's over just like that too.teammates im proud of you guys for fighting it all out.even though some things didnt turn out the way we want it too, we just have to constantly stay strong and train harder to fly faster alright (: have faith!

and haoxia's long awaited treat's LOVELY today.fish and co, the heavenly haegen daz's icecream fondeu, plus the amount of dosage of laughter's incredible.chiaming and rimmel had the crankiest laughters coupled with sylvia's and xinyi's yakkings! guess smile never left our faces tonight.and such little things make me feel like the most blessed girl on earth (:

had STJ yesterday at miss clarity too (: will never forget the amount of food scott ate! 3 servings, or was it more? haha.thanks eunice for making it really awesome!

back to the rush.time for art.and a longer list awaits.
oh, happy april's fool (:
and happy birthday minhua!

fate defined;

2007-03-18T13:22:00.000+01:00

march hols is over so terribly fast.rahh.it shouldnt have the title 'hols' at all cos its obviously flawed.training, sleep, attempts at studying, and the cycle just finds itself repeating this entire week.no life?and i couldnt agree more.haha.

anyway, competed in MR5OO yesterday at lower seletar, came in second for heats (: and today's finals came in fourth. missed the third position by 2 seconds, and passed the fifth by a second.it was that close! haha.well, its afterall the experience gained and a closer encounter with race and what it truly means.this race's no doubt a huge motivation for me to train harder for the nationals (: and teammates had put up a strong fight at this race too! we'll cont to perservere yep?

and block tests in a few hours away.its terrifying when you're not prepared.and i find myself falling in that category /:

well, all the best for blocks people (: have faith no matter what!

blank template, haha.

2007-03-08T17:15:00.000+01:00

ive decided to keep my blog 'skinless' cos apparently many people have said that it takes ages to load.haha.so hope it loads much faster now, it better be (:

seven to race, nine to test;

protege

2007-03-05T18:39:00.000+01:00

5th march 07 officialy marked the first time me,yueqi and zhuting watched a movie together- finally, haha, after seeing each other for countless hours in school its amazing how this can be the first time (:

anyway, protege is quite an inspiring movie, despite some of the gory scenes which got zhu cuddled all up behind her jacket and yueqi going 'soph, think im gonna vomit...' plus the all the freaking out together.hahaha (:

well,am really proud of our seniors for their A's results (:
imagine, it's gonna be my turn this time next year.seems far still, but sadly, reality proves otherwise.

meanwhile, got to fight even harder on my boat with competition in barely 2 weeks' time.teammates all the way too (:

yours truly;

-

2007-02-28T17:02:00.000+01:00

well,life seems to be back on track again,despite a mile or more to chase after.comfort and relief made themselves less distant,yet strangely a sense of alienation towards this transition sets in.as the old list wears away,new apprehension makes its entry,into this cramped,little space of mine.

i badly want to go to the beach,drown myself in the sea breeze,watch the sunset,and see how the waves and sand play.im getting a little tired of everyday's-to-be,so routined,mechanical and lifeless.

but the fact that God knows,makes breathing a little easier.

feb highlights

2007-02-20T12:37:00.000+01:00

well, shall let the list unveils:
dramafest

jo's birthday surprise
valentine's day
xcountry
mass dance competition

cny celeb

these nostalgic moments i've been anticipating for and so excited about have bid their farewell.and sometimes,i just wish that everything would just freeze there instead of having eloped with time.but no matter how much we may hate it, life still needs to abide by our ever treacherous friend none other than time.rahhhhh!
still, am really glad that camera never fails to capture every single smile, every single speck of crankiness, every pinch of madness, every fragment of joy and the being of every single soul that has a place in our hearts (:

jo's birthday surprise

happy 18th birthday jo! your tears of surprise made every madness we and karen did worthwhile (: hoped you liked the doughnut factory we've queued for ages! to think that we creeped in your house like ~~professional~~ thieves and ran like some runaway criminals at cityhall hunting for your gifts! and karen, yes, what would i do without you? haha.forever friends,and it's going to last from pri sch days till our hair turn grey and our teeth all drop out!

valentine's day & xcountry
a BIG thank you to classmates for the little notes, pretty gifts and lovely brownies, angel and mortal for the special items, teammates for bursting my morning with gifts and guys' team for the rose, huiqi, wenhui, peifen, joanne, fel for the flowers delivered across miles, xinyi, liwei, junhua and jo-ann for the surprises (: you guys have made me feel so loved.its a pity its the last vday to be celebrated this way,one in which the entire sch goes maniac delivering and receiving presents!

the class girls with the rows of grins

a big hearty hug
dearest angel: st june and me & am happy to have completed that 3.2k run!

cny celeb
the usual streetmarket; and me, yueqi and zhuting succumbing to its very temptations like cheese nachos, strawberry marshmallows, fishballs, cheesecake and more (too sinful to be divulged).haha.mass dance, class cheer! and our faculty dance's still the best alright! our class even had laoyusheng (not sure how its suppose to be spelled) thanks to eunice!

cny with family
im officially addicted to pineapple tarts! seriously, i've been popping at least 5 pineapple tarts at every house i visited, coach'll surely freak out if he finds out! haha.the sense of warmness when everyone gathers again (: and i realised i miss everyone's voice and laughter after not seeing some of them for one entire year! so three days of updates on each others lives and quality time spent (:
oh, red wine really does have an acquired taste.my uncle was laughing so hard at me! whatever (:
family shot (:
bro and me! do we look alike? haha.

a long entry to keep this place alive till my return which is so not anytime soon.haha.and i find myself spinning back to the usual routine of life once more.as the old saying goes 'dont cry cos its over, smile cos it has happened'.so shall end this entry with a BIG smile (:

for,
cheering me on at the finishing line
the lovely shades of gerberas
the company that night
being late for a month

the 99 stars twinkle
and the 33 petals dance
each time i think of you

im so happy.

2007-01-28T10:04:00.000+01:00

a weekend with incessant raindrops and interspersed joy in-between.

dad's back after being away for one entire week (: that totally wiped away the word 'stressed' which has been plastered on my mum's face!haha, and grandparents popped by singapore! its so comforting to have loved ones by your side again. and i love the added noise and buzzle my grandparents add to home.like how my grandma's shirt flew off cos of the strong wind while she's desperately trying to hang them out and my granddad ran down to get it almost immediately.haha! the power of love of the two old ones (:

and to top it all my dad brought durians back from indo. he lied to me he couldnt get them cus its kind of impossible to pass the immigration with the durian smell in luggage or something, but infact he tupperwared and ziplocked everything and brought my favourite across the miles (: so sweet of him for such a nice surprise.lies forgiven.haha.

oh guess what? just found out that both my orthodontist (dentist) and family doctor are both ex-canoeists! how cool is that! orthodontist was from nyjc and he went on and on asking me bout canoeing when there's no way i could answer him cus he's treating my teeth. whatever. and my family doctor's an ex-hwachong canoeist! went to see him to get cream for the hideous white patch on my right arm. to quote him "attacked by fungus and sun".i was completely grossed out.hope it heals soon.more like, it better heal soon.

and i fell down while playing bball in church today.it tore my jeans at my right knee and the so expected blood and abrasion followed.havent fell down in a long time so the pain kind of doubled.haha,but the pain didnt last (: so ive got a pretty hot wound to start the week with,haha.

am still in the process of clearing my 'to-do-list' despite the constant distraction of my more attractive "want-to-do-list".oh well.

new week beckons?

and happy birthday dearest yimtong (:

just one simple word:
happy.

2007-01-23T11:53:00.000+01:00

today's the first weekday of the year that i actually reached home when the sky's still bright.that's just because i skipped art lesson for dental appointment.haha! but the feeling to be back home so early for once's rather awesome! seriously,been leaving house when the sky's dark and reaching home when they sky's equally dark since the school reopens /:

ohh! and i havent been late even once this year (: its a remarkable achievement considering i had been late unnumbered times last year. that's just because im sharing a cab now every morn with ryan, shihong and his brother to school, haha. still, not being late makes me happy! this may seem silly, but it makes me glad when i can simply "make it on time" (:

workload has been significantly piling and i feel more squashed than ever.still, i'll find someway to get myself out of the whole screwedup workload im having now! rants.

short entry but it sure winds me down a little (: a break from all the nonsense out there waiting for me.BOO.

God answered my prayer (:

first post of the year

2007-01-12T19:10:00.000+01:00

14th december was my last entry, and almost a month has passed ever since.its still unbelievable how seconds tick so fast without me even realising it.anyway, i know this is WAY belated, but have a splendid and blessed new year everyone! (:

reluctant to depart with the previous, despite having stepped into the next.a heart filled with gratitude, for ALL that 2006 has given me-more than i could ever ask for.rewinding into my memory bank made me realise how BLESSED ive been.to have received Your salvation and grace, to have a family as an anchorage, holding me on since day one, to have a class as heartwarming, to have teammates as lovely to endure and share the tiniest bits of life and canoe together, to have close friends standing by me and to have found you.

the year ahead is no more than a blank piece of cloth, waiting to be embossed with a myriad of colours to form a picture yet unknown.more of anxiety than anticipation for me cos of the major exam at the end of the road, but exciting nevertheless, with God, family and friends by my side.

looks like the last half of december's been missing in here, so here it is, for keepsakes and memory.dont want to lose the feel of all that has happened despite the fact that those moments have the word "history" imprinted all over them.

christmas to me:

{16/12} church carolling at rivervale condominium. seeing the little kids jump onto santaclaus and shake his hand with gleaming faces made me smile.anyway there's this cute little boy who cried cus he was afraid of santa.aww.haha.

{18-19/12} stayover at karen and jo-ann's place! anyway, jo suddenly didnt feel well halfway through newyork2 that night and it scared me out of my wits.fortunately sean and nicholas nearby at esp library came to rescue us out of that pit.truly appreciated! its amazing how we can still stay as close since primary school days! cluedo and winnie-the-pooh, do we ever grow out of it? haha. dont think so, and i dont want to.rummaged jo's kitchen for raisins and fruits, karen's horrendous pre-sleeping syndrome haha and really hearty breakfast.i loved this best - snuggling into old pri sch uniform and pe attire that day made me relive that sense of warmth and belonging and being able to reminisince it all with you two made it complete.pri sch besties, and will always be (:

{17/12} the day i got baptised.God's child and proud to be one (:
"Lord i offer my life to You, everything i've been through, use it for Your glory, lord i offer my days to You, lifting my hands to You, as a pleasing sacrifice, Lord i offer Your my life."

{19/12} LAUGHTER gathering! cheesecakes, cafe cartel at that particular place and particular spot, spontaneous laughters, our hallmarks treasured always.LOVE: peiqi, minhua, ber, lili, baojia and wongshihui you better appear the next time round (:

{21/12} 4J class gathering at leroy's house! it was heartening to see more than half of the class there (: those who cant come were greatly missed! had a lovely dinner with never ending supply of chicken wings, pretty logcake and pizza delivery. anyway, it's not the food but the company. one year has passed and am glad everything still falls in place!

{23/12} acted in a christmas skit 'depressed bob' with josh, caleb, shien and olive with david as our awesome director and matt the assistant director watching over us from america? haha. anyway,truly enjoyed rehearsing with you guys despite headaches at times.thought those violent moves like whacking the face with frying pan, or getting one's head hit with ladder even pushing down a christmas tree were absolutely hilarious too! (: thanks for the sunflower teammates!

{24/12} church carolling to seven places! the christmas songs were totally stuck in my mind that entire night, especially 'we are the reason' cus we sang it over and over, uncountable times? haha. and our incredible angklong ensemble!
really hope everyone's received the miracle of christmas and felt the touch of God's love (:

{25/12} the loveliest day of the year.jesus' birthday and how much it meant to me.

{30/12} had a smashing stayover in church on new yr's eve and welcomed newyr with a BIG GRIN (: noodles at four am and bridges with nonsensical conversations, me and desiree's failed attempt at maths and nice catching up with you-colleague.haha.

thought i would have a miserable december simply not being able to go back to indonesia.but it didnt turn out that way, infact, its been so much lovelier than
i could ever imagine.meeting up with close friends and spending more time with church mates made all the difference.a sweet christmas to be remembered (:

okay, now back to the present.tomorrows are so filled with uncertainties.let's see how He leads, simply follow (:

one day
i parked my heart in a one-way street
called wait.

raindrops

2006-12-13T17:11:00.000+01:00

past midnight.and the thunder on the other side of the window now caught me unaware.i've always thought ~~stormy weather~~ harbours that little spark of angst or even blue feeling which stirs much emotions for most.

but for now,i love this sound of raindrops in the night.
not discordant harmony for once,but a melody which found its way there.

trainings and studyouts intertwined for the moment.going wild soon!

seven:\
(:eleven

wh and fen

2006-12-09T15:47:00.000+01:00

3 pigs' night out today! nice and warm feeling to be together again.thanks girls (:

sandwiched between darlings wenhui and peifen.
a shot with royal highness! traditional women,huggies!

always treasured;

turf

2006-12-08T18:11:00.000+01:00

on the path of becoming more diligent/haha.

met up with sean, yueqi and zhuting yesterday.finally got the engine in attacking hols assignments going.never knew addicted by simple plan can be so amusing! ms zeet'll be pretty on sunday with her sari and long eyelashes -grins, bones will be back under the sun soon! and sean tan somehow never fail to have those terribly funny expressions plastered on his face! goodness.

another study date today,with WENHUI! and accompanied by caffeine as always.two traditional girls hard at work with long chats amidst the two moving pens on scattered papers.not to exclude the many trips we made to get ourselves little treats.like peppermint candystick.haha.completed just a chem revision paper out of the whole chunk of list awaiting.still,its a BIG DEAL!haha.

first time at suntec's surf and turf.it's an indulgence not to be missed (: the manager's amiable and the food's superb except for the tiny serving of boiled veggies.

save me! ive got training in six hours' time but im still wide awake.blogging at night seems to lose its magic in driving me sleepy.maybe counting would help despite my hatred for math.haha.

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16.

christmasy mood

2006-12-05T17:13:00.000+01:00

designed and decorated my church basement stage for 12 hours straight today.long as it may seem,it was truly worth it simply cos the finishing touch made me smile.

in words defined as:
the spread of maroon drop, classic christmas tree embellished with gold sparkling spirals concealing shiny presents of all sizes,a fireplace with no flames and roasting chestnuts as yet and a mistletoe on the rosewood door.old brick walls with that tinge of earth copper red.dangling gold ribbons and hanging tiny teddybears wrapped in green and red scarfs.ceiling studded by a curtain of miniature crimson red christmas lights.topfloor windows awaiting for some snow spray to give it the feel of season greetings.

the warmth and love, im so glad the finale captures that spirit of christmas (:

behind it all:
the brick wall's in actual fact mahjong paper lined on the original white wall with masking tape and then sprayed with spray paint black, red oxide and red scarlet.~~almost died of chemical poisoning~~ spraying the entire wall.haha.the front bricks were A4 paper boxes and most of the presents are empty boxes in pretty wrappers.this is what happened when we're low on budget.haha.

the decorated christmas stage.finale.

close up christmas tree with scattered gifts.

topfloor window, bricks holding on to gold ribbons and teddies.

felt so accomplished after everything/nineteen of 24 hours.

ps:thanks matt,han and bro for the help todayy!

it doesnt ask why
it speaks from the heart
and never explains
it doesn't think twice
it can come all at once
or whisper from a distance

random happenings

2006-12-03T17:27:00.000+01:00

with training in a few hours time,anyone with common sense would sleep early.but when your mind's flooded with thoughts,sleep finds itself abandoned.that's when blog becomes a momentary companion for the night.

for the past eight years,every first monday of december (which's today),i'll be taking ferry and flying back home to indo.without fail.but its not the case this year!rahh.i still cant get over the fact that im not going home.guess no one'll understand how much it means to me,not even my parents,lest they wouldnt make such a lousy decision.i miss home.THIS MUCH.

anyway,its been enjoyable spending 3days 2nights with the class.

it started with microwaved maggie noodles and luncheon meat for dinner?! haha.the challenging uno-stakoish game with horror on tv and shue's really dumb piggy system.not forgetting the usual rounds of bridge and mahjong.siyun's stunts in the night and yiwei's memorable morning greeting which shoke the whole room up.bowling the next day,us girls playing with luck while the guys were pretty much imba.swim relay and soaking in the really nice water 'playground'.cycling from east coast to changi viceversa.almost died of fear cycling against the traffic that night.and guess what siva helped us start our bbq pit and gave some of us a lift to buy drinks.haha.

and the vjc choir production 'les miserables' was truly impressive.caught it with feli and liwei (: the old 2b days.haha.and big thumbs up to jerrold!

its queer how when such fun concludes,we're always thrown back into the heartless reality.
meaning: a pile of homework left untouched desperately screaming out loud at you.rahhh.

just 21 more days to the loveliest day of the year (: GRINS.

ps:des,stay strong girl (:

dwelling in transiency,am i?

just like that

2006-11-25T05:36:00.001+01:00

it's exactly one more month to the loveliest day of the year (: im waiting.

meanwhile, my house's undergoing major renovations.so its portable toilet till 4th december /: and the entire house looked like some plastic land cos everything's covered up with groundsheets of all sort of colors except for my room which still stays rather intact and 'livable' until next tuesday when they will tear down my windows.

anyway,renovations can be pretty cool cos when u walk up the stairs all your neighbours' doors are open wide.haha.but the noise made's DEAFENING.rahh/

and i'd my debut work experience for 3 days this week.as inventory for stan-chart marathon this coming year end.inventory sounds nice huh,but its just taking stock of delivery, packing their goodie bags at really fast speed, transporting boxes after boxes of 'goods'.coolie-alike.haha.and i never knew canoe guys can be so ~~amusing~~.how many sets of bridge did i win? haha.and mel will go "ayee, beginner's luck!",whatever.and its not my fault that i walked the wrong way to the dessert stall :P okay, me and mel got labelled power girls eh, damn funny.

its really a worthwhile experience being a part of such a major event (: to all the runners out there for this event,42km, conquer it! and darling yimtong come back soon,we'll see you dash for 21km this marathon!

stayed over at tiffany's last monday.we met yet again at our trademark dining place.grins (: so short a time yet so much to rattle on about.scrutinizing photos and not forgetting the really-cranky part before total silence fell in.haha.its so comforting relishing those childhood memories.

thanks for standing by me since we're seven.know what, a decade has passed, and my best friend's still there for me (:

missed training today /: exhausted after running about this entire week.will go down waters tomr before church to make up for it.recharge mode.haha.

ps; bones have loads of fun in japan.will be missing ya loads,take care (:

tha/liot/vweals/y/nks

miss

2006-11-21T17:49:00.000+01:00

maybe looking forward to christmas supresses how much im missing everything back there.but i cant imagine christmas without being back home.its just,so different.pretty christmas trees and carols in the shopping malls and active church xmas preparations now somehow gives me some sense of comfort,but they cannot replace that warm lovely feeling i get spending time with old friends and simply sitting in my old church back there.

rahhh.i want to go back.
guess im really homesick.
especially at this point of time.
when christmas' drawing near.

/:

and the one year wait till next year'll be an arduous one with the onslaught of As.

2006-11-19T18:52:00.000+01:00

just wanna say:
thank you 75,
for giving me so much more than all i could ever ask for all these while.
and the day at sentosa just adds on another wave of nostalgia (:

captain's ball under the scorching sun, futile attempt swimming towards the plot of land across the bridge, played 'monkey' in the sparkling water but at the same time choked by the high sodium content, a really dumb sandcastle competition in which the girls' emerged victorious with their cute turtle!, short 7-11 break, jellyfish discovery, a lost-and-found journey cycling and subway dinner. shueli, cheerup okay? whoever did it is really heartless or im sure lungless too! grr.
we must catch musical fountain some other time yeah?

last monday night'd been a really nice stayover at felicia's house.watched mr.house, an inspiring medical drama.all time favourite egg tarts!, card games which tell-it-all before dozing off, and updates of shocking, irritatable incidents neutralised by sweet happenings.old pal eh, i loved the fact that our houses are separated by just a bend in the road which is merely accessorised with 3 bus-stops.haha!

{spiritual}
today's sermon in church made me ponder a lot.it was a gentle reminder to give thanks IN ALL circumstances, and not just giving thanks FOR good circumstances.no doubt there will be bad circumstances we may have to face, but there is no condition in this world so miserable that we have nothing to thank God for.throughout whatever ordeal we may be through, He is in control, and He's in it with us.and He has a reason and purpose for us.ordeal is God's permissible will to strengthen our faith, to stand firm and to trust Him more.

i like this definition of gratitude.gratitude is a vaccine, for it prevents invasion of a disgruntled spirit and frustration.it is an antotoxin which prevents criticisms and grumblings.lastly, an antiseptic that heals and soothes a troubled spirit.isnt it nice and comforting?

many a time we do not treasure the things around us until we lose them.and by then, it will be too late.and regrets will suffice.in the hussle of our daily lives, we are often so preoccupied that we do not even have the time to stop and give thanks for the simplest blessings in life - the air that we inhale, the beautiful nature amidst us, family, friends and the list goes on and on.

its just a word of thank you, to God.

anyway,
training tomr at gym with coach and that can send some shivers.to be followed by stayover at tiffany's.im so looking forward to seeing you again (:

some things are yet answered,
and doubt will ever be.
perhaps not now.

reminiscence

2006-11-15T11:18:00.000+01:00

was late for training for one hour today cos i overslept /: ~~hundredfifty pushups~~ as punishment.rahhh! training now became such a routine that sometimes i wonder if i do actually improve as time passes or am i just mere stagnant on waters, or worse, became worse.there's still tons of mistakes for me to deal with and change and it sucks when your body refuse to adapt to the transition as you want it to be.like kicking harder on the right and leaning forward blah blah.

on a cherry note, yanhan im so proud to see you back on k1.you did well and keep it up! and, subway made its way to the top on the canoegirls' lunch list (:

anyway, had a productive day studying at esplanade library with yueqi, zhuting, nicholas, sean, and eunice yesterday.finally plucked up the courage to do MATHS - the horror.and changing appetites cheesecakes are ~~50% off every tuesday~~.so go and grab it (: so much for advertising.haha.

I MISS COUNCIL ): everything about it.

went back dunman high yesterday night to spy on the juniors' council camp.haha.guess what, the school gate's locked and i had to climb over it, just like the old guides days.of course,the camp's filled with new faces (the 4th and 5th generations) except for a few who were with me last yr.

best of all, its seeing my darling accomplices shihui, wailumn, dickson, the juniors close at heart lili, baojia and amelia and council teachers! memories of council days rewind itself again.its been so much a part of my life in dhs though its a short one year.all the preparations for sec1 orientation the whole of december, sports day cheerings and banner, PA duties every single morning, the graduation promenade, the chiangmai trip, doing nonsense for the sch, laughing away with laughter gang...

and little did i realise almost one year have flown past,council has been cut off from my everyday and i am no longer fussing over such things in jc.but talking to the councillors yesterday as well as cheering those ever familiar cheers made me relive a little of that moment.council has been a short and sweet gift, though it hadnt been easy unwrapping it, eventually what's inside has made me the person i am today.the moment is but temporary, but memory is forever.often i remind myself, dont cry because its over, smile because it happened.but at times, i just cant help but miss it.

unfathomable reminiscence.

awake

2006-11-12T18:44:00.000+01:00

awake

a beautiful and blinding morning
the world outside begins to breathe
see clouds arriving without warning
i need you here to shelter me

so keep me awake to memorize you
give me more time to feel this way
we can't stay like this forever
but i can have you next to me today

if i could make these moments endless
if i could stop the winds of change
if we just keep our eyes wide open
then everything would stay the same

so keep me awake for every moment
give us more time to be this way
we can't stay like this forever
but i can have you next to me today

we'll let tomorrow wait
you're here, right now, with me
all my fears just fade away
when you are all i see

and i know that only time will tell us how.

-josh groban

2nd week of hols!

2006-11-11T17:54:00.000+01:00

just had much to say about the past five days.

waking up early every morning and rushing off to either kallang gym or macritchie to train.hols' routine and today's no exception.me and mel had one to one training last wed with the discovery of some awesome stunts transporting the kayaks.haha.yanhan's finally free from clucthes of meetings,thanks for the nice treat lihui,yimtong and yihang you're really missed on waters the past days!had gym session with coach today.demanding is the word.cos he made sure every damn pull is standard and done proper.and i HATE maximum inclined sit-ups.i totally sucked at it.and coach grinned when i had a such a hard time getting up.saddist! but he was nice enough to help me complete the whole three sets of thirty.whoever invented the inclined sit-up bench? im seriously going to murder him.grr.had lovely team lunch at suntec today, six of us before some of us fly off and leave me and mel perpetually stuck at macritchie this hols.aww.and a crazy taxi ride in the heavy rain followed by a totally wasted afternoon at sports council theaterette.haha.

had an art class dinner at mr tan's house tonight (: its really nice seeing everyone back again,though school ended just not long ago but it seems like ages since i last seen you guys.maybe its cos of the long hours we spent being stuck in the art room during school days.heh.watched superman returns with the cliche hero saving the day as always.but the show leaves a lingering sweet feeling nevertheless! and some scandals seem to confirm their existence tonight yeah?haha.thanks lyly for the company back home.im so proud that we found the bus-stop home despite little accidents along the way!grins.dinner tonight sets me looking back on the first day i stepped into the art class, filled with mostly ex aep nanyang and ch students.how i felt like a complete stranger,like i dont belong and shouldnt even try,the sense of awkwardness and apprehension overwhelmed me.now,its the total opposite.after we've been through so much,like staying up so late to complete the paintings and all (which i so foresee will happen next year),random art outings to arty places haha,being crushed under the pressure of our disgusting 3000word art essays and never ending deadlines to meet, it made me understand my art classmates for who they really are and not how i perceive them to be at the beginning of the year.time truly brings people together,somehow,miraculously.and i really treasure the times we've spent as an amazing art class.im glad i made the right choice (:

{yest}
devoted time to study at the national library with sean tan and ended up talking 98% of the time,not to mention getting attacked by a not-so-qualified librarian.haha.

{last thursday}
a declaration of LOVE to huiqi and claire.claire's one crazy shopping queen eh.haha.and we tried on clothes as if the m)phosis racks were our wardrobes.plus,a hilarious incident happened which left the person at the cashier flabbergasted! met qi and decided our dinner fate at kenny roger's due to holes in our pockets.but it turned out really yummy.esp the hot side marcaroni cheese's a must-try (:

anyone who walked past our table would think that we've gone nuts.with all the silly poses.haha.

and the rockers in a band (:
its just sheer warmth being with you guys again (:

{last wednesday}
did my first ever studying this hols with yueqi,nicholas and lekchia at the esplanade library.getting back into the studying mood's rather torturous.haha.my mind doesnt seem to want to comprehend anything and my memory's still at a either pause or off mode,definitely far away from the play mode.in physics you call it inertia?haha.but i've got no choice i guess.better start revising now or regret later seems to be the threat.oh well.and we had a highly amusing subway dinner.pickles on just one side of the long foot? haha (:

{last tuesday}
op's finally over and its a HUGE RELIEF! chankeet,yuting and lekchia: thank you for being gorgeous pw teammates!wouldnt have made it through the whole year of pw alive without you guys with all the meetings and staying way late into the nights.building arts participation in singapore,haha,bet none of us would ever want to have anything to do with that, enough dosage.haha.so yep,the hols officially starts as pw marked its end.

i realised updating a blog this way's kind of queer,cos time's moving backwards.but cant help it.im so lazy but to squeeze everything into one entry.haha.

as it is

2006-11-06T16:39:00.000+01:00

cant wait for it to be over.
and that stall at adams rd please open the next time i go /:
high school gym isnt that bad after all, haha.
okay, last burst for op now.
soon.

-

2006-11-04T15:33:00.000+01:00

first week of hols has marked its end.ahhh roars! mine has been filled with trainings 5 days in a row.gym trainings,chinups,the everfamiliar 10minjogs and sloperuns and long distance waters followed by 2k sets and forest run today.being pushed so much more left me lethargic yet accomplished.a stronger and determined mind!haha.

and teammates just made it complete (: thanks for subduing my fear of the bars and of course,an awfully entertaining lunch today.haha!darling QM rimmel,glad we survived the paddles trauma too!

oh the ART BIENNALE's ending.so those who havent seen or heard about it do take a peek at least.its worth it,i promise!i loved the exhibits at the CITYHALL best.Especially liked the secret interiors by Donna Ong and searching for the 4 secret chambers has given me a unique and thought-provoking experience.

had a trip to the substation for workshop,national museum and tanglin camp to view other parts of biennale with my artclass yesterday.the exhibits at tanglin camp are more morbid and gruesome,dealing with deaths and some are totally sick.oh and there's this exhibit where you have to climb the stairs and pop your head in and all you'll see is a garden with water surrounding your head.that one's beautiful artwork! but tanglin camp used to be a place for army concentration camp so the place gives a haunted and mysterious feeling,which's rather eerie at night.haha.SCREAM should have been held there!

dinner at thai express with lyly,karweng,zhengyou and yinghern.shared green curry and seafood padthai with lyly,plus we're starving which made dinner ultra delicious (:

hm,im feeling rather remorseful for deserting my holiday assignments or any form of revisions aside.shall only start after the nervewrecking op.longing for 7th nov to be over soon!

{last saturday}

shots taken on
left:24th feb 06;right:28th oct 06
huiqi our darling fishball's always at the top ehh and claire's face's still as spastic as ever (: months have passed and im glad it still feels the same.we had tons to catch up on,oh wells.missed the old times! shall meet up soon and we can plunge ourselves into changing appetites coaches again!

church tomr, night (:

someone waited,and walked an extra mile ,for a mystery yet resolved ,at a seemingly empty cinema,a peek at dessert yet tasted, wandering aimlessly ,a rare 7kg steak ,as the night set in, a walk amidst no crowds,sat on the steps,witnessed waves in the air ,and flashes of lightning ,aspirations? amusing microphone and chopper,a pleasant surprise,on the train back home ,not so sweet popcorn,sweet strawberry paradise ,back to reality

thankyou(:

2006-10-29T11:59:00.000+01:00

time to think of how to spend the next two months of my life {after much tedious calculation,its 61 days to be exact} haha.postcards with neat lines and columns drawn, days and dates scribbled on them lie stagnant in front of me.all i have to do is start filling in the blanks.

damn disappointed at the fact that i dont get to go back to indo this year.canoe back? haha.if only i could (: its just that suddenly i started missing my friends there dearly and they kept popping in my mind.guess its just this time of the year when i would be all jittery and all excited anticipating for the flight home.home cos its the place ive spent half my life in.

NO motorbikings,savouring piles of durians,gobbling spicy hot food,cycling at the countryside with turkeys and goats in your way at times,catching crabs at canals,playing with high waves at the beach,stayingovers,seeing how cool the streets can get when there are floods after a real heavy downpour,hanging around with childhood mates,singing xmas carols and watching skits at my old church.
guess ive always taken those things for granted,like they'll always appear every end of year.
~~but sadly,it wont exist this december /:~~

{last friday}
caught 'prestige' with class.it keeps you in suspense while watching and sets your mind guessing after that.and i guess magic is not something worth meddling with,no matter how cool it may seem.last line of the movie: 'you just want to be fooled'.which's a paradox because no one wants to.

SCREAM-halloween event in school.watched my first ever scary movie {high five val!}.shutter's the ultimate.but think ive spent half the time covering my eyes while the other half's spent screaming when some gory white,bloody figure or worse,face,suddenly flashed or went floating on the screen.survived the haunted trail with val,nicholas and terry.the scariest parts were the toilet and lecturetheatre.haha!
a night to remember.

anyway,canoe's getting tougher,in the sense that i have much things to correct and comprehend amidst my lousy stamina which coach has been harping on.at least i know where's the triceps now okay!haha.and thanks to someone,
power: the maximum amount of energy you can put in within the shortest possible time, involves speed
strength: just a part of power,doesnt involve speed
writing it in here so that i wont forget.

{last tues}
coach's long-awaited treat at changing appetites (: sinful,as always.
the canoeists!

mudpies (:
rimmel's

yanhan's

chiaming's

our meaty-combo for 3!

all smiles.

pw op
canoe trainings
catching-ups with friends
class chalet
guides bbq
sourcing inspiration for art coursework next year
revision,study outs maybe
and all you can possibly do when you think of christmas
(:

at least the blanks in my postcards are no longer empty.
BIG grin.

-

2006-10-25T16:00:00.000+02:00

the rain's awesome.it washed away much of the haze and dissolved every bits of my unforecasted mixed feelings.its' evil side though,was stealing away my chance of rowing at macritchie today.ohwell.

time seemed to either grow more wings or fly even harder.
it's the last day of j1 tomorrow.way too fast, dont you think so?

some things are better kept out of mind,
lest it enters the heart.

-

2006-10-24T17:24:00.000+02:00

i feel like a total ~~crap~~ now.
everything's so screwed up.

euphoria;

2006-10-19T18:04:00.000+02:00

the brutal, gory war with written report for pw finally ENDED!
the entire world must be rejoicing, except for some who are still doing last minute killings.a big thankyou to someone who intelligently recommended printing at coro as well as putting 3000 words for coverpage with much risk (: written report started with figuring out how to make it even exist at yuting's territory, all the annoying drafts, doing till damn late into the night to meet datelines, ck and lek camping at my house for 3rd report and finally meddling with appendixes and printing today.
~~gpp,eom,wr~~ 3 down,2 left*

& its the girls day out for lunch today!
had had a really fun time pigging out at taka.noodle with cheese&egg's my all-time-favourite (: plus the crispy durian puff (must try!), plus small bites of toriQ, brownies and takopachi.plus sitting by the fountain and dear sam willingly offered to swim with me if i ever fall into the fountain pool.aww,haha.
bones sneaked out of her to-be-packed-soon nest to spice us with her chilli fishcake! and eunice's what-i-had-eaten list's realllllly long (: would you turn around if someone at the street tells you "eh, you've stepped on sth"? me and sam did and we got to donate one buck.haha.any kind soul please tell me which exact bus-stop must i go from taka to get back school yeah, thanks a zillion!

somehow,i seriously think that my procrastination syndrome has gone from bad to worse.im now the only soul in class yet to hand in i&r /:

back to tackling a whirlpool.

things just happen;

fossil

2006-10-13T16:52:00.000+02:00

my last entry was 13th sept and its now 13th october.being missing for one month and instead of being covered in dust, my blog has become "fossil" or something.haha.
anyway,finally got the urge to update again.

a train of events have rushed down the tunnel this month.

big huge relief when prelims marked its end.been longing for it to be over.oh well, who doesnt? the whole two to three weeks been spent at the reading room everyday after sch, with that ever-familiar stretch of eateries, cosy-corner, california handrolls and adams for meal breaks.course, THANKS A BUNCH to yueqi, nicholas, sean, zhuting, eunice, siyun for being there throughout the torture.its been great studying (complete with all the cranky moments,haha) with you guys and i wouldnt've been able to make it without all of you (: wont forget going home when the sky's pitch black every night or getting chased out by our dearest security guard! well, so that's how promos are defined for me.but for now, the thought of getting back the results irks me.hope everything turns out fine.

onslaught of festival of sports.felt really proud of our class (: the surge of enthusiasm and the ever readiness to cheer our classmates on! second for rowing, third for frisbee and what makes it even more memorable were the little things - sean's first goal, chris seah's penalty kick, yong's floorball goal, eunice's tight defence, the hoolahoopers doing weird stunts across the stage, our superb frisbee team with reihorng catching almost every single frisbee in the air, the all encompassing cheerings during rowing and the list goes on...
fos-the thrill it brought, short yet amazing.

mid-autumn festival in a hazy night with PSI-153.cant even see the fullmoon properly.haha. still,anyone would simply love the fire display, grand lighting and water fountain! not to miss out the coconut drinks at the steps, the mass singing and dance. haha, mr/ms me and mr/ms yueqi almost died dancing (: its awesome to spend yet another night with your classmates.and we climbed over the school gate once more before supper at KAP.no casualties.hee.

hc openhouse on friday the thirteenth along with rj, nyjc and tjc.think we've worked pretty well with the canoe guys for the booth preparation with banner, silver shark, graffiti panels, paddle souvenirs and all.thanks ppl! and great job for today, though we have some dosage of stoning and boredom and ending up snapping photos.haha.was truly glad seeing some girls who are passionate about canoe and are willing to give it a try (:
as for art, it wasnt easy hunting for people who are really interested to take up art as a subject except for those who are already taking olevel art or are already in aep /: guess there maybe some souls around who love art too but just not willing to take up the risk? oh well, i must have been crazy to take up art and now it truly is driving me mad at times.

and darling canoemates, it's been really great to be back running and doing pull-ups with you guys again.and im so jealous for not being able to go swimming cos i lost my swimwear! sounds ridiculous but yes i LOST IT /: watched "world trade centre" today too.the movie had been depressing but it made me think a lot, to treasure the loved ones around us whom we have often taken for granted and how fragile life is.and lihui, i didnt use the tissue girl! haha.
back to macritchie waters tomr. bit apprehensive yet driven (: T1, horror awaiting.

lost wallets.caught in a stupid rain.
what's next?haha.

nights (:

seen again

2006-09-12T19:46:00.000+02:00

BOO! i'm back.

life now can be defined as merely hopping to lessons after lessons, catching up on the never ending stack of notes, not to miss out the crucial meal breaks complete with inspiring chats
and sometimes scrutiny on fat levels, and finally, the sudden outbursts of crankiness and infectious laughter which make everyday worth remembering.

hm,i've this sudden urge to record this series of nutcases which
make their way into our class today.

case #1 yueqi's 10 non-stop ahlian poses which activate goosebumps.
case #2 investigation into who has the sexiest kiss look with zhuting emerging champion but credit to claire's and yiwei's failed attempts.
case #3 siyun's obsessions with salty soups and her art of vandalising others' properties with her highly dangerous markers.
case #4 shueli's "oh its a dying tortoise on the floor!" when its just a puddle of water on small potruding rock on the ground that has a shape of tortoise shell.
case #5 eunice's big yawn during lecture.
case #6 val's future plan of learning how to cook after As and her cracked lips.
case #7 earring frenzy with sam and the word 'blackie' is prohibited
case #8 sean's trip to the library to check out score (soccer or
tennis?)
case #9 trial on the rowing machine with chris,reihorng,ck and nicholas' relay
case #10 yet to be discovered.
okay, this' really random.bleahh/

no doubt, some of us are constantly pushed to the brink of exhaustion everyday as we feel the aura of promos drawing nearer, not forgetting to mention the release of exam schedule today.my schedule is so 'beautifully' crafted with art SOVA and 2 chem papers on the same day.to make it 'perfect', bio, chem mock spas and my 3 hour drawing and painting paper just have to come hand in hand on the very last day.so its basically test- tubes and chemicals in the morning, paint and brushes till evening.such combinations never once crossed even the periphery of my imagination.time to hunt for some survival skills for those two fateful days /:

but despite all, felt real blessed to have friends around to share the same anxiety and struggle to even integrate a math question or ponder over the adventure of a spastic gene in our body (: i can foresee more of study togethers yeah?

thirteen more days left. faith, courage and action needed (: jia you everyone!

anyway,just some late august and early sept happenings which i missed out thanks to sheer laziness.

i managed to complete the 10k real run in 1 hour 4 mins plus! virtually impossible but mission accomplished (:

THANKS sam,val,siyun,shue, yiwei, robert, ck, wahtoon, reihorng, sean for coming to my church's bbq!hope u guys enjoyed it and bring back with you guys that little message of God's love.

i love yaoyueqi and xueeee zhuting!(though im getting sick of seeing them everyday in school.haha!) we must find time to pig out at taka's food haven and plunge into our hotspot artfren after promos alright?

our class very first random day of exchanging bags. can never forget the sight of guys in tote-bags.gayy (:

was damn happy upon completing another art essay.this time round i did till five in the morn and only had 45 mins of sleep before going to school.anyway, chanced upon this quote amidst doing the essay, rather meaningful.just wanna share here.

"colour is a means of exerting a direct influence upon the soul. colour is the keyboard. the eye is the hammer. the soul is the piano, with its many strings. the artist is the hand that
purposefully sets the soul vibrating by means of this or that key"

and lastly, im revealing my very first oil painting on canvas entitled "journey with passion".

the end.not a single trace of dust;

realrun;

2006-08-19T18:01:00.000+02:00

realised this blog bears a layer of dust already.
abandoned for fifteen days.
haha.
so here's a quick revival.

new balance real run '06
the ultimate x-terrain challenge
road 6km, sand 1.6km, trail 2.4km
at sentosa

wouldnt have heard of its existence if not for canoe.
but still we'll be running as team (:
(yanhan lihui hope you're joining us!)
so it makes it tons better.
let's run our hearts out!

maybe i should consider bringing an oxygen tank along to provide me with enough oxygen to last 10km
incase my heart or lungs decides to take a break along the waya
nd my legs better not give way!haha.

anxious, really.
the race gun will sound at 0745.
off to sleep (:

WO 1156;

a lighter heart.

nutshell

2006-08-04T18:21:00.000+02:00

i never knew i can be so mean.
i felt so bad.
im truly sorry.
learnt the lesson the hard way.
and thanks for forgiving.
it took away all the nightmares on my mind.
and the guilt.
thanks 75 for being there for me.

been painting my entire nights this week
and going home at 10pm every night from school.
UOB painting due next monday.
what an impossible task.
cant wait to see my pirate ship on a sunset background done.
but that'll mean more inhalation of turpentine and oil splashes on the fateful canvas.
for now only the sky's done.
the ship's still non-existent.
haha.

i am so glad i
swam for 40 mins and ran for 27 mins non-stop today
huge accomplishment
thanks rimmel.
fellow partner-in-crime!
teammate make a huge difference (:

still,
my life schedule is just so screwed up now
there's nothing i can do.
argh.

tag replies:
debbie:hey girl im not going to any ball.haha.

MEL(::six avenues in six minutes (: lol.

yueqithegreat:stay 'great' girl.lameness and crankiness everyday ~~without fail~~

zhuting*:'beeg smile' back (((((: stay pretty with all those crayons!

furyz: haha ur digital art's like more pro.high sch aep yeah someone (:

weijean:hey girl.been ages.stay funky and high as always.maybe i'll spot ya at bus-stop again?haha!

anon:you are?

huiz:mary HAD a little lamb.haha.cant wait till we meet up again and then we can cont' yakking (:

moving on

getting used

2006-08-02T18:16:00.000+02:00

its just a matter of getting used to everything.

numb.

runaway

2006-07-24T17:26:00.000+02:00

i hate PW to the core
and what makes it worse
is the enhancement of 3 more art projects
how i wish there is a
project runaway
for me
ARGH.

ncc;

2006-07-21T17:35:00.000+02:00

im ~~freaking~~ nervous
10k on a k1 tomorrow for ncc
havent had water training for the entire of this week
felt as if i've lost the feel of k1 on water
what if i cant balance
must remember all the kickings
and correct punching points
argh
anyway,
the wise man says just take it as another training session
think positive positive positive

darling teammates,
let's give it our best shot yeah (:
back to macritchie we go.

race with Christ for Christ
cast all your anxiety on Him cos He cares for you

a new chapter

2006-07-19T16:57:00.000+02:00

breaking free;

We're soarin', flyin'
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach
If we're trying
So we're breaking free

You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are
Creating space between us
'Til we're separate hearts
But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can't control
Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls
Rising 'til it lifts us up
So every one can see

Ohhhh runnin'
Climbin'
To get to that place
To be all that we can be
Now's the time
So we're breaking free
We're breaking free
Ohhh , yeah

More than hope
More than faith
This is true
This is fate
And together
We see it comin'

More than you
More than me
Not a want, but a need
~~Both~~ All of us breakin'free

{high school musical}

this song is dedicated to my dearest canoe teammates
yanhan,yihang,yimtong,lihui,rimmel
truly loved today's training
though its just the six of us now
(seniors, we miss you dearly)
small yet cozy
its the best start anyone could ever asked for
laughing at ourselves in our swimwears
swimming in the high school pool non-stop for one entire hour
while the girl who refused to wear her hot chilli-red, star-studded swimsuit
ran along the track alone with much determination (grins)
the 80cents raisin buns accompanied with 95cents blueberry buns tasted superb
right yihang?haha.

canoe is not just about paddling on waters
or gym or circuits or swimming or running
but its more about
sharing with each other
bits of our everyday lives
and living our passion
so much that it has become an integral part of my life

canoe nationals - the big day is finally over
we won fourth
and the canoe guys came in second
im so proud of our seniors!
throughout the competition
the fighting spirit never did fade away
giving our teammates going down to compete our last hugs and encouragement
seeking shelter when it stormed during the finals
cheering our boats down the lane with hearts trembling with anxiety and prayers
seeing the boats cross the finishing lines with tears of joy and relief
and ending it with a glamorous shot at the pontoon.
that sums it all.
hwachong canoeing woosh!

had post competition dinner that night
at glasshouse fish and co.
thanks wenyi,wenqi and yingxia
for the rose,exquisite necklace and teambottle
thanks seniors for the sweet notes and little gifts
thanks canoeguys for the chocs, bookmark and sunflower

truly treasured all the moments spent together

masquerade

2006-07-06T16:30:00.000+02:00

drew this when the class had econs today.
used purple,black and blue markers on a sheet of special gloss paper.
photograph taken using my room's spotlight
cool right?
and masquerade.
addicted to that word.
somehow;

watching LOST on tv now.
full of suspense.
never could guess what'll be next.

and i cant believe that our class is having swimming lesson this term.
gosh.

the most random entry ever.

God brings little surprises in life;
thank you.

back to school;

2006-07-05T17:53:00.000+02:00

the feeling of being back in school is _____________
fill in the blank yourself (adjective)
past days have been like extended holiday.
that fateful week of block tests felt just like a mere nightmare.
so unreal.
till i came back to school again and realised that its for real.

had a great 4 days break.
went out with wenhui to settle her passing down presents.
found out that lighter with a carved name's rather cool and sleek.
pigged out with meihui at bugis swensens.
loved the banana and mango splits,love chatting with ya even more.
haha.
she laughed till she cry cos she remembered throwing my towel into the bin in the hotel toilet during our sec three trip to hongkong.
goodness gracious!
watched 'just my luck' with yueqi,yiwei,eunice,nicholas,sean,chris,simon,ivan
chickflick
sweet
just like every fairytale with a happy ending
make you smile all day after watching it (:
met up with tiffany at orchard
lingered past the hot items on the shopping list
ate taka's cheese and egg noodles
and dont forget the yogurts.
thanks for being the most stupendous best friend ever.
till our stayover date.

love catching ups!

and my life on a k1
is no longer that torturous
managed to go quite straight and paddle full strokes instead of just stroking water today
capsize count=ONE only.
greatest accomplishment on waters ever
frustration is really not the weapon in canoe
calm and composed
the way it should be
seven more days?
unbelievable.
fight HARD everyone.

will france win portugal tonight?
the result will be out in hours time.
its a pity germany lost.
many hearts are broken yeah.
haha.

and i still have ZERO idea what to do for art.
save me.

ps.get well soon yueqi!

tag replies here
(cos its a little too many to squeeze into that minute grey box)

lihui**:hey girl.blistertape woman!thanks for sticking with me thru the down times.cant do it without ya really.love ya girl!
MEL:):i see ya everyday without fail.but still HELLO there.haha.
yIhang:hm, photographs are not to be trusted.lol.
`eunice:thanks girl.simplicty*
val:hey its okay.ohh i cant cos i changed my blog add this time round, not just template.
yx:thanks! art's a blessing in disguise.haha.

dont lose heart;
God'll make a way.

maiden post;

2006-07-02T19:00:00.000+02:00

my life in diaryland officially ended.
discovered blogspot is much easier to manouvre.
and guess what.
this is the very first blog template i've ever designed (:
with the courtesy of photoshop and blog html huntings.
felt so accomplished

im so glad block tests are finally over
you can simply find this sentence all over everyone's blogs without fail
haha.
that horrifying week of drilling notes after notes into my brain during the night before each test was totally unbearable
tormenting is the word
regretted not starting early
like what yimtong said
grades "D E A D" for all four subjects
haha.
think it'll be worse
and yueqi says hwachong sends our results to our parents through post
how cool is that.

back to my beloved macritchie waters!
last training was horrible though
with the strong gusts of wind from the side
and our boats kept on going right
(haha it rhymes)
the currents were strong
and the boats just rocked incessantly
(like avril)
it was my 8th time on a K1
completed 4 racesets of 750m with manda on T1 enhanced with 2 capsizings during turning
oh well

we had our pre-competition potluck tonight at wenyi's place
bet we had the right dosage of yummy food, laughter and heart talks.
unostacko,cards and soccer joined in the fun too
happy belated birthday patrick!

lihui you are greatly missed!

snapshot of seniors

12th of july
continue to fight it all out on waters
though burdened by our own worries
though puzzled by the techniques of using the paddle right and leaning forward
though caught in our own anxiety and fear we can do it yeah (:

i have an oil painting due end of july
and i still have
no inspiration
plus no motivation to activate the start button
im so dead

when you live by faith,you win;
when you live by sight,you lose.